Be Not Afraid

Saints Anne & Joachim, pray for us.

2011-10-12T20:16:00.000-07:00

Good parents of the Blessed Virgin Mary, grandparents of our Savior, Jesus Christ,

When life seems barren,
help us to trust in God's mercy.

When we are confused,
help us to find the way to God.

When we are lost in the desert,
lead us to those whom God has called us to love.

When our marriage seems lifeless,
show us the eternal youth of the Lord.

When we are selfish,
teach us to cling only to that which lasts.

When we are afraid,
help us to trust in God.

When we are ashamed,
remind us that we are God's children.

When we sin,
lead us to do God's will.

You who know God's will for a husband and wife,
help us to live chastely.

You who know God's will for the family,
keep all families close to you.

You who suffered without children,
intercede for all infertile couples.

You who trusted in God's will,
help us to respect God's gift of fertility.

You who gave birth to the Blessed Mother,
inspire couples to be co-creators with God.

You who taught the Mother of God,
teacher us to nurture children in holy instruction.

You whose hearts trusted in God,
hear our prayers...

Pray with us for the ministry of Catholic family life.
Pray with us for the ministry of Natural Family Planning.
Pray with us for all who give their time, talent, and treasure to this good work.

2011-10-03T22:51:00.000-07:00

"Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

Scrapbooking

2011-09-30T23:51:00.000-07:00

I really want to do this. Maybe it'll make it easier for me to scrapbook. There's a lot of things I miss doing, and scrapbooking is one of them. Now, where to find a little inspiration...

For I know the plans I have for you...

2011-09-30T23:31:00.000-07:00

"True devotion to Mary takes its rise not from below but from above: not from feelings of affection but from faith. In the first place it means clinging to God and accepting his design...God has willed to associate Mary with his work of salvation...It is not for us to set limits to the divine action or to dispense with the intermediaries God has freely chosen...In God there is room for every kind of superabundance."

- Cardinal Leo Joseph Suenens

taken from Through the Year with Mary (Edmisten)

I have never really thought of myself as the type of person that needs to be in control. On the contrary, I've always considered myself somewhat of an easy going, laisez-faire, go-with-the-flow type of gal. That kind of demeanor has always allowed me to be able to deal with whatever lemons life decided to throw my way.

Recently, however, I've realized that I am much more concerned with my life's outcomes that I previously thought. Perhaps it is my age (do people's lives really go downhill after 30?), my profession (what teacher isn't controlling?), or my status of being newly married (yes, it has been two years, but it's still new to me). It probably also has something to do with certain challenges that have come up in my life as of late. Whatever it is, I have this urgent need to be in the know about what is happening, or what is going to happen, today, this week, this year. I desperately desire to map out a plan for the next 5 years of my life. A plan for what? For life, I suppose. This concept is somewhat foreign to me, and I'm trying really hard to adjust.

What I am slowly starting to realize is that, while it may be all well and good to want to road map my life, I am not leaving room for His plan for me. Where is that supposed to fit in? Are my plans God's plans? Or vice versa?

'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.' (Jeremiah 29:11)

He has a plan for me. And when I dwell on the fact that things aren't working out as I had planned, when I become bitter about not getting what I want, when I think that life isn't fair because of what I have to go through, I am limiting his plan for me. Not that I want to compare myself to Mother Mary or anything, but what would have happened if she decided to limit His plan for her? Through her acceptance of God's will, the miraculous happened.

It's funny how amidst difficult times in my life, I often refer back to my college years when I first realized how much loving and trusting in God was integral to my very livelihood. God's dreams for you are bigger than your own. I remember saying that phrase often back then, and it rings loudly in my ears right now. How easily we forget what's important.

Trust. Acceptance. Faith. Clinging to God and accepting His design. These might be the only things that are keeping me sane at the moment. I don't like not knowing what's ahead of me, and I am having a hard time relinquishing control. Though it is a daily struggle, I will continue to try and work at it. It's not my place to try and limit God's action in my life. In God there is room for the miraculous. That's what I'm praying for.

Weddings

2011-09-03T14:01:00.000-07:00

This weekend, one of my best girlfriends from high school will be getting married. I chatted with her on the phone last night, and she was filling me in on all the wedding drama going on, as well exclaiming as her excitement to see how all the planning she has been doing will fit together. She sounded happy, and I couldn't help getting giddy over celebrating with her and all of our friends.

My memories refer back to the day David and I got married -- the happiest day of my life. I know people always say that, but it's true. We promised, before God, to love each other forever. Our family and friends stood by us, promising also to support us throughout our lives. We partied and danced the night away, ending the evening with a song that still makes me smile whenever I hear it --Don't Stop Believin'.

This will be the 4th wedding we will have attended in 2011! There's just something about weddings that is magical. Maybe it's the dressing up part, or the pretty decorations and fancy desserts. Heck, the open bar can cause fireworks on its own! For me, what really sets a wedding apart from all the others is the interaction between the couple. A couple in love doesn't have to act like they're on a show at their wedding. There's no such thing as a bridezilla or groomzilla. There's no fake, plastered smile for pictures, or forced small talk with the guests. The stress of the day cannot be seen on their faces, just love for one another and pure joy. It simply cannot be staged.

People always say that marriage is the end of your life as you know it. For me, marriage has given me a life I could not have imagined. It is not easy, and it is not for the weak. It requires daily effort from both the husband and the wife, and constant prayer. Marriage truly is a sacrament of service. I love being married, and am so happy for all of my dear friends and family who have chosen this path in life.

That is all. I'm done preaching. :)

life plans and life lessons

2011-09-01T18:38:00.000-07:00

there comes a time in one's life where making plans and looking into the future become inevitable. it's a sign of growing up -- a point in time where one realizes he or she must stop playing games and start getting serious about life. it's only natural.

but then what happens when those plans don't work out the way you want them to? what happens when you try to do things right, so that everything you had planned for yourself happens just the way you had envisioned it? you start to second-guess yourself and begin to wonder whether or not you're on the right path, because it's turning out that this isn't really the path you had planned for to begin with. if you live your life as a good person and try to always do the right thing, why doesn't the right thing work out for you?

it has taken me awhile (a very long while) to begin to come to terms with my present situation in life, but i am getting there. see, i always thought that there was an order to things when one became an adult: college, job, marriage, children. as vain as this may sound, i always figured all these things would come easy to me. so when the children part proved to be much harder than i thought it would be, i felt like a failure -- like all my previous successes meant nothing, because i could not succeed at this. one miscarriage...okay, that was a fluke. two miscarriages...it's probably coincidence. three miscarriages...what did i do to deserve this?

i won't go into the details of what each tragedy, each loss did to my life. i've moved forward, and i am continuing to heal. but in all of the suffering, i have learned a very valuable lesson. i am loved. for this lesson, i will always be grateful.

summer lovin'

2011-07-08T16:52:00.000-07:00

hello, blog world! (not that anyone reads this anymore...)

it has been quite a while since my last post, more than 1 year and 5 months to be exact. recently i have been thinking about blogging more and have started to look back at all my old bookmarks of the blogs i used to read. needless to say, i was inspired. i also have a little more time on my hands since my school is on summer vacay and i am finally done (for now) with my own personal education endeavors.

here's an update on what i've been up to lately:

i'm a Master! a Master of Arts in Teaching, that is! i finally finished my project for my master's degree and graduated last spring from USF.
i went to the Philippines. my trip in one word: hot.
playing hostess to close friends visiting the Bay.
thinking deeply about a slight career change. well, maybe not a career change exactly, more like a career redirection.
weddings galore! which means, bachelorette parties, galore! traveled to Miami, Vegas, and SoCal all in the month of June. which explains why i cannot believe it is already July!
2 years married to my crazy husband.
practicing for my annual ho'ike later this month.

after looking over this list, it doesn't seem like too much, but it has definitely kept me occupied. i am, for the first time in a while, enjoying these summer days of relaxation, quiet moments at home, and soaking up the sun we've been having lately. i am reading more, cleaning more, stressing less, going to the gym, and spending lot of quality time with David, who is finally back on the day shift! all in all, life is grand. that is not to say it hasn't been challenging, because it definitely has not been an easy ride the past few months. but when i think about the blessings i have and so much good that is happening around me, the tough stuff sinks into the background a little bit. it's all about perspective, right?

choices, pt. 2

2010-01-24T22:14:00.000-08:00

i choose love.

there could be many reasons why the Lord chose to take our baby away. there could be just one. i don’t know if i'll ever fully understand it, but through the sorrow and tears, there is love. and that is the reason i choose to believe in.

when i married david, i knew i loved him and believed in the vows we made before God. i knew that God chose him to be my soul mate. but it wasn’t until this whole ordeal did i realize why he was chosen for me. david was the only voice i listened to through my tears. he was the only one that made sense. he was the only one who understood what i was going through. he never got tired of how depressed i was; he never made me feel like i should be “over it” already. david was the one who kept reassuring me that our baby was with God, and that one day, God would bless us with the child we wanted. he helped me to realize that choosing to love and trust in God, even when it seemed like God turned His back on us, was essential for us to survive.

i didn’t think it was possible for me to fall deeper in love with david, but i did. and if taking my baby away was God’s way of waking me up and telling me that i needed to choose love over all else, the i can accept what happened.

i choose love.

choices, pt. 1

2010-01-21T23:34:00.000-08:00

it was exactly like how it happened in Marley & Me. in fact, we even joked about it while in the doctor’s office. my mind flashed back to the scene where jennifer and john were at their ultrasound appointment, and the technician began to look troubled as she stared at the screen. it was similar to the look that our own technician had – the “it’s bad news and i don’t know how to break it to you” look. our tech left the office to get the doctor, and at that point, we knew.

the events that transpired next came as a fast-sweeping storm. the doctor confirmed that our little 10-week baby had no heartbeat. i called my mom first, who through her tears kept telling me, “just try again.” then came the business part of it all – calling the school to tell them i wasn’t coming in, texting family members, talking to the doctor’s about what to do next, scheduling an appointment for the D&C. david held my hand the entire time.

i couldn’t sleep the weeks following the procedure. every night i cried myself to sleep. i couldn’t bring myself to go to church, not even on Christmas day. it was too difficult to even utter a simple prayer. this was not what i had chosen for David or myself. it was the first time in my life that i had ever questioned God’s plan and what He had chosen for me.

the turning point came on December 26th. we were having a 4 corners reunion, one that we had been planning for months. i didn’t feel like being there at all and almost came close to not going. i kept texting david, asking him when he was going to come and join us. all i wanted was the comfort of my husband. it was Saturday evening, and we got to church early so that Regina could sing in the choir. as we waited, i tried to figure out excuses not to go to mass. i didn’t think i could handle it, nor did i really want to be there. finally, i confessed to emely, telling her that i just didn’t have it in me. being the supportive friend she always is, she offered me a way out – cupcakes became the excuse. francia came on board and agreed to go on an impromptu cupcake run instead of Sunday mass. it quickly occurred to me that i did not want to be responsible for the potential spiritual setback of my friends, so i told them that i would be ok to attend mass. if i was going to choose between 2 of my dear friends skipping mass, or putting aside my pride and suffering through the mass, i'd choose the latter.

for the entirety of the mass, i cried. my tears would not stop, and even if i wasn’t thinking about anything, the tears continued to flow from my eyes. i chose not to open myself up to God that night in prayer, but somehow the Holy Spirit consumed me in ways i could not understand.

that day was the Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. in the first reading, Hannah, who is said to be barren, prays to God for a Son. she has a son named Samuel, and she and her husband take him to the temple to be sacrificed to God.

“’I prayed for this child, and the LORD granted my request. Now I, in turn, give him to the LORD; as long as he lives, he shall be dedicated to the LORD.’ Hannah left Samuel there.”

i think that after that mass, my healing process was able to begin.

reaching across the aisles

2009-02-16T05:20:00.001-08:00

why am up at 5:20am on this president's day holiday? i'm getting ready to go to tahoe, that's why! i'm heading up there with my brother and his buddies, and i figured while i wait i'd make good use of my time by blogging about my experience at mass yesterday.

i've been going to a new parish since we've moved to hayward, and i must say that it's the first church i've been to since interfaith where i've felt inspired, moved, and enlightened each time i attend mass. after we celebrated epiphany, my church decided to embark on this 6-week series of talks about different parts of the mass. at each service, the priest would "highlight" one part of the mass to explain and describe to the congregation. it's so informative that lately i've been taking notes during the homilys! (by the way, what's the plural spelling of "homily?")

yesterday, the priest spoke about the importance of the sign of peace and it's history. he said that during the sign of peace, we are encouraged to reach out and touch the people around us. the importance of human physical touch is so important and an act of love. this extends to more than just those few moments before the consecration. he asked and challenged us to reach across the aisles in our daily life -- to touch those around us who are the outsiders in our society.

it was a beautiful thing seeing the congregation get out of those pews during the sign of peace. i hope to try and do the same.

***

snow, here we come!

enjoy!

2009-02-15T12:08:00.000-08:00

here's a treat for all you crafters out there! but, then again you probably already knew about this. :) anyways, hope you can use it.

slow down!

2009-02-14T23:20:00.000-08:00

have you ever felt like life was just going way too fast?

my life is literally flashing before my eyes. i swear that christmas was just yesterday, and yet here we are in the middle of february and so much has already happened since then...

my sis, friends, and family threw the most awesome party of my entire life -- david and my engagement party. it was the biggest, baddest surprise i've ever experienced and i enjoyed every minute of it. it makes me emotional every time i step back and realize just how many beautiful people i have in my life. i truly am not that deserving. the party even continued for a few days afterwards as the ol' crew became our first official house guests! though our time together was short, we had some wonderful conversations that took me back to our college days. again and again i was reminded of how God shows me His love through the people around me. we haven't had our house officially blessed by a priest yet, but i felt like after that weekend, our house became a home.

it has been quite the adventure trying to get used to living across the bay and all the other odds and ends that come with having a home. there are new "issues" david and i have come across regarding our home together, and we've been slowly (very...slowly...) working through them all. i never realized how much work a house is! there's just so much more space to take care of, to clean, to maintain!

i took my class on our first big field trip of the year -- our annual state capitol visit. it was a huge trip to plan, but it was so much fun. i had a lot of help, too, as many parents wanted to come along! the kids learned so much from the trip, as did their teacher. last year i wasn't able to enjoy the field trip at all -- i was too busy disciplining kids and making sure none of them escaped from the group. this year was so different. i was able to just sit back and watch as my students soaked in new information about our state government. it made me really look forward to taking them to washington, d.c. later this year.

interestingly enough, wedding planning has taken a back seat to everything else that is going on right now. i know, this is not good. most of our save-the-dates have been sent out lately, though they are a couple months late! our guests will be getting the invitations very soon after the std's...not ideal, but we can't help that now. there's just so much to get done, and everyone has been so nice about offering their help. however, if the bride can't get herself organized, how are people going to be able to help her? i'm so overwhelmed...

but, it's ok. everything will work out. i know it will.

oh, and i went to vegas last month with some fellow coworkers and had a blast! it was so much fun. during that trip i decided to sign up for the avon breast cancer walk in july. at first i wanted to do the sf marathon with david and derrick, but i realized that i do not like running -- especially long distance running. plus, the breast cancer walk is for a great cause! we are walking 52 miles over 2 days...pretty intense, eh? i think it'll be fun, though, and i'm looking forward to getting in shape with all the training we are going to do until then.

i want to say that i'll update soon, but who knows given my recent track record. oh well...until next time, then!

it's been a long time comin'...

2008-12-30T23:02:00.000-08:00

my lack of blog posting is a testament to how crazy busy life has been for me these past few months since my bday in late october. crazy busy...but, crazy beautiful.

perhaps the biggest thing that has taken place in our lives thus far is that david and i purchased this:

the front of our house

the back of our house

path leading up to our door (as you can see the houses in front of us aren't even fully built yet)

our neighborhood

we started looking around for a house earlier in the year, found a couple, placed a bid on one, but it fell through. so, we stopped looking for a while. then, partly out of boredom and partly because of the buyer's market in real estate we started looking around again in october. since we didn't have any luck around the penninsula side of the bay, we looked further away towards the east where property was much cheaper, and much newer. around my birthday time we decided to take the steps to purchase a new house that wasn't even finished being built yet, and a month later, the day before thanksgiving, we closed escrow and were the proud owners of a brand new home!

since then things have just moved so fast! we have been moving in our things little by little, buying the essentials here and there, and just simply enjoying being in our own place. sometimes i still can't believe it is truly ours. i never thought we'd be able to have a house like the one we have. it's not a huge place, but it fits us for right now. it's 4 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms, and located very close to lots of restaurants and shops. we don't have a backyard, which is the one thing i wish it had, but we do have a small front yard and space on the side of the house for planting. the best part is that we were able to get it for such a great price! everyone was telling us that now is the time to buy, and we're glad we listened.

hmmm, so what else has been going on? well, work has gone by equally as fast! now that can be a good thing and a bad thing! in terms of behavior management with my class, i am having a much easier time this year. i love my students! ok, some days i really dislike them, but in general i love the class i have this year. we definitely have a connection and an understanding between us, and they challenge me in ways that i have not been challenged as a teacher. i have had some of the most amazing conversations with them; they've discussed faith and religion with me in ways that no adult ever has. some days i wish there was a camera in my room to which the world could have a glimpse into how these young people think about their own faith. they desire so much to find truth and understanding -- i preach to them about loving God and they ask me why. they don't just accept what i say. they argue with me, not to annoy me but so that they can seek the truth! it's no longer the generation of just accepting that there is a God because your parents and teachers tell you that there is one. these kids have less and less role models to look up to when it comes to religion and faith, it is no wonder that they question it! so, it is in arguing with them and trying to answer those "why's" that my own faith has been deepened. and it is during those conversations that i realize why i am a teacher.

it's just a few minutes before NYE and come to think of it, i haven't even thought of a new year's resolution for 2009! survive, maybe? oh, 2009 i am not ready for you yet!!! i have our class' washington trip to plan (yes, we are going to D.C. baby!), graduation, oh...and not to mention...MY WEDDING! it's going to be a crazy year! crazy, but oh so beautiful.

i am loved...

2008-10-28T23:21:00.000-07:00

by my students, my coworkers, my friends, and my family. i am even loved by the japanese waitress who called me "Duhnnnah" today. i am loved.

today started off like any other ordinary day -- waking up to an alarm that had been snoozing for an hour, showering, making coffee, and getting ready for work. when i got to school, i walked up to my classroom to find the outside of my door decorated so beautifully! a couple of bday elves had been there the evening before to do this for me, and it was probably one of the best gifts i received!

each one of my jr. high classes sang "happy birthday" to me. it was so sweet...and weird hearing it 3 times in a row! they were so well-behaved today, too! they said it was their "present" to me...haha!

Some funny quotes from today...

me: hey, so what are you getting me this year for my birthday?
david: i'm buying you a house...what more do you want from me?!

me: there's no way that no one is coming through the office after school.
student a: that's a double negative, miss h!
student b: give her a break, it's her birthday!

student a: how old are you today, miss h?
me: guess.
student b: 33??
student c: 17??
me: i'm 27...and i'm old. (ms. h makes a sad face)
student d: you're not old, you're young! and beautiful!
me: why, thank you, student d!
student d: you're welcome. can we not have homework tonight?
me: gives student the evil eye

as the day ends on this bday of mine, i reflect upon the events of my life thus far. i've been through a lot, and i know that there is so much more to come than i can ever even try to imagine. i'm actually sad to be entering my late 20's, but i can honestly say that i'm content with where i am in life. sure, i could be thinner, a better teacher, a more faithful servant, and a better fiance...but i know that my imperfections are made whole in God. i'm so thankful to even just be alive.

lots going on with me recently...lots more going on with the double d's. still wishing, and hoping, and praying that all will be answered the way it is supposed to be.

looking forward to this friday's PARTY BUS!

good night.

new beginnings?

2008-10-25T21:34:00.000-07:00

the double d's are that much closer to fulfilling their dreams. let's hope everything works out...

prayers, please.

weeelcome to the baaaaazaaaaar!

2008-10-04T12:37:00.000-07:00

2008-10-03T15:22:00.000-07:00

Blogging live from David's blackberry...

We are currently on the road to sunny San Diego where Audience of One will reunite once again! We have been blessed with the oppurtunity to play for Mater Dei's bazaar and we are soooo excited about it! There's something about singing to God that lights my fire...

So, if anyone is available this weekend, please stop by and enjoy th music in the company of friends! We'll be on stage sometime between 4pm and 6:30pm. Pray for us!

Oh, and if you need directions...call David. :)

the power of prayer

2008-09-28T17:05:00.001-07:00

recently there have been lots of people i know who have been going through some rough times. my heart goes out to them...how i wish i lived closer so that i could be there for them in their time of need. i hope they know that there are so many people out there praying for them and sending love their way. things will get better...they always do.

my students asked me recently why God allows bad things to happen. i didn't really have a straight answer for them, but instead asked them how anyone would know what true joy felt like unless they first felt pain and sorrow. how could we ever know what love is if we first do not experience heartache? how can we know life unless there is death?

praying for you, my friends.

change

2008-09-18T23:31:00.000-07:00

i'm not a fan of change. i don't hate it as much as i used to, but i wouldn't say i'm welcome to it all of the time. in fact, most of the time i try to avoid it.

today we had a very chill evening with the cousins for steph's last night in the bay. pizza, rock band, and forgetting sarah marshall. i was pretty tired from the day's events, but i was more sad about her leaving. i think i really was one of the people who really pushed her to go away for college and have the experience that i had. at the same time, there was a huge part of me that was selfish and wanted her to stay closer to home. i'm afraid that i'll miss too much of her life, that she'll have all these experiences i'll never know about, and perhaps i just don't like the idea of her being out of my "reach." little girls have to grow up sometime, i guess...

but even now, i'm telling myself to take comfort in the fact that she'll be in my hood. she'll be in a place where i reconnected with God, found life-long friends, and decided to dedicate my life to His ministry. no, i don't expect her to follow in my footsteps despite what the family says (not that that would be such a bad idea ;P), but at least i know she'll be surrounded by good people, and that she'll always have a safehaven to run to...just in case.

i really wanted to go with her this weekend to move in. i think it's better that i don't. it'll be emotional enough with her family, so i'll just cry by myself this weekend and wallow in trying to accept the change that is inevitable.

pray for us, please.

2008-09-17T21:27:00.000-07:00

being a teacher is hard. being a catholic school teacher is harder.

pictures!

2008-09-12T22:39:00.000-07:00

CHARLES' 2ND BIRTHDAY

i love this picture. it really sums up the personalities of the 3 siblings. if you knew the type of people they are, you'd laugh at this pic...in a good way, of course!

uncle david and charles

birthday boy

CRUISE TO MEXICO, SUMMER '08

no, we are not trying these on for fun! standard emergency drill...

go for the GOLD, baby! we totally won at family feud, got these gold medals, and went around the whole night sporting the gold! so. much. fun.

the girls after dinner

view of the sea

we were on the bus to rosarito and there were these people that were singing songs that i've never ever heard of. they were young like us, too! so, maria and i started singing hiphop songs to our friends and they would guess the song.

** next picture post: em, fran, and chellebee's visit to SF! **

so it began

2008-09-12T22:12:00.000-07:00

as you can see, i've jumped on the bandwagon following people who have been changing their blog templates. i was ready for a change, and i think i like it.

3 weeks ago we started back up with school, hence, the blogging hiatus. it has seriously been non-stop since day 1. my year looks promising; i have a new position in school, am getting closer to all the teachers, and have a class that is drastically different than their predecessors. while i have to deal with the usual chattiness and rolling of eyes you get in any 8th grade classroom, the disrespect does not go further than that. they are easy to get along with, higher performing academically, and trustworthy. i took them to mass this morning to attend a funeral for a custodian that used to work at our school, and i was actually able to pray and be fully present during the celebration. last year, my eyes darted about during mass, and i could usually be seen walking up and down the aisle making sure the students weren't using their cell phones, touching themselves, or laughing inappropriately. all in all, i say it's going to be a great year. busy, but great.

oh, we're also going to washington, d.c.! as a supplement to our goverment and civics curriculum, the students will be visiting the white house and several monuments around d.c. 36 catholic school tweens running around on the other side of the country on their first trip away from mommy and daddy...i'm scared. we'll be going in may, a week before graduation, a month before my wedding. it's going to be interesting!

aside from the happenings of being a teacher, there are a few more updates in this life of mine:

our YA meeting was postponed due to venue issues, but is now back on and set for 9/27. prayers are much needed and appreciated!
i started dancing for Te Mau Tamari'i A Tiare/Na Kamali'i A Kiele along with my cousins and siblings. there are 7 of us in the family who dance together, and it has been a lot of fun! it's more difficult than i thought it would be, but i enjoy the challenge.
david and the cousins joined an asian basketball league. they have games every sunday. unfortunately, their record isn't very good, but they are definitely improving every week!
david's nephew, charles, turned 2! the party was fun -- lots of kids and vietnamese food/people. he's more engaging now and at a very fun age.
i went on my first cruise ever a week before school started. i had the time of my life!

if i remember and/or have some time, i'll try and upload some visuals of the past couple events. i'm so bad with pictures! (even though i love posing for them...haha!)

top 10 signs summer is ending...

2008-08-07T01:16:00.000-07:00

10. fall clothes are displayed in stores

9. the cousins start a mad reading dash in order to finish their summer reading

8. you start to see commercials for the beginnings of new seasons for your favorite shows

7. the fog starts to roll in earlier and leave later (in daly city, of course)

6. there are less good movies being shown in theatres

5. your principal starts emailing like crazy

4. you start to train yourself to sleep by a normal hour, instead of 3 or 4 in the morning

3. the family just now starts talking about taking a summer trip. this summer

2. no more friends are planning to visit the bay area

1. you start having nightmares about the next school year

last night i had a bad dream. it was the first day of school, and when i walked into my classroom i saw the same students from last year sitting in shiny desks. there was one new addition to the class, a boy that i knew from high school who used to be so mean and sarcastic to the students and teachers back then. i ran downstairs with my "resignation" paper in hand, desperately searching for the principal. when i finally find him and hand him the paper, he refuses to accept it and i am forced to go back upstairs and face my new "old" class. instead, i try to run out of the school, but can't escape.

i seriously woke up sweating.

***

once again, i had a great, adventurous weekend. more to come later!

114 days until....

2008-07-30T13:41:00.000-07:00

i can't wait!

come and follow me, i will bring you home

2008-07-30T00:01:00.001-07:00

a couple days ago i posted about meeting with my parish's young adult group. well, we met today and it was quite interesting! see, when the lady from the church contacted me, i assumed she simply wanted to point me in the direction of the YA group so that i could be a member. after further conversations and emails, i got the feeling that she wanted to be more than a member. boy, was i right.

i came to the meeting not knowing what to expect, but i told god in my prayers that i would be open to wherever he wanted to take me, as long as he would be there to help. the lady introduced me to the core group of YA's, and we all had a mini faith sharing about where we came from, who we are, and where our relationship with god was. towards the end of the meeting, she proposed that i be the "leader" or advisor to the group. i was truly taken aback! she had no idea who i was...she only knew that i had a bit of "experience" with YA's, yet she trusted me enough to be an advisor?!

after she left the meeting and i was alone with the core group, i confessed to them that all i wanted to do was join and be a member. however, if they needed me to be more than that, i would definitely be open to it. i told them that i would do whatever they wanted me to do, because all i wanted was to serve. i had a flashback to last sunday when father mentioned in his homily that we should all take life as it comes. deal with what god gives you, and have faith that all will turn out ok. i tried to keep this in mind during our conversations, because i really started to get scared. i am afraid to take on so much responsibility so fast...i'm afraid to have these people depend on me to lead them. i guess it's that fear that helped me realized i was doing the right thing. when i was chosen to be a leader in liwanag, i was afraid. the person who chose me told me that if i wasn't afraid, then it wasn't meant to be.

since i've moved back i've always been searching for a way back to the church. i've been wanting to be more than just a sunday church goer. i always felt like he was calling me toward something, but i didn't know what. i'm not entirely sure if this is it, but i'm rolling with it.

i'm going to have to dig up the binders and email my resources (ahem, kirs and fran and angie) to help me remember all the stuff we used to do. i even mentioned to them my affiliations with log, audience, and dwtl, and they already want to do a socal trip to get ideas and more inspiration! i really hope my socal peeps would be willing to help me out on this one.... ;) they also have had no exposure to praise music! (i know! what a tragedy!) i'm hoping to especially help out in this department.

in liwanag, we'd always tell our members that our mission was to spread light to those in darkness. how easily we sometimes forget about this mission when we graduate and move on in our lives. i know i forgot...and quickly. maybe i wasn't ready to do it all again a couple years ago. who knows if i'm ready now? i certainly am not sure...but what i am sure of is that i trust god. if this is what he wants from me, i'll do my best to oblige.

so right now i'd like to ask you all for prayers -- prayers for the group and prayers for myself, that we do what is right in the eyes of God, and that we take our inspiration from the Holy Spirit. i've gotten through many difficult and challenging times due largely in part to the prayers of those i love, and i hope this time is no different.

it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood

2008-07-28T20:13:00.000-07:00

forbes.com rated san francisco #8 on its top 10 best cities to buy a home list. just thought all of you who have ever considered moving up here should know. remember the cul de sac, people!?! anyway, we need more friends up here, so think about it! :)

prayers are needed...

2008-07-25T02:04:00.000-07:00

for friend that is very close to my heart. she's one of my oldest friends and she's going through some tough and uncertain times. please help me in praying for her. thank you.

fading fast

2008-07-25T01:12:00.000-07:00

a couple days ago i realized that i only have ONE MORE MONTH of summer left. can you feel my heart breaking? i'm so not ready to do anything more than sit at home watching tv and surfing the web. pitiful, i know, but oh so true.

don't get me wrong, i do try and get a daily dose of exercise in and go to the gym. i've been really into taking classes -- mostly cardio, some dance and the ocassional pilates session. most of the instructors use certain types of music to get people all hyped up, and sometimes they'll throw in a hip-hop song that i really like. when this happens, i totally sing along (well, more like lip-sync) and in turn will miss a step or totally do the wrong thing because i'm really just listening to the song and not the instructor. people look at me like i don't have rhythm, but really, it's because i'm so into the song.

i've been working out pretty regularly now and haven't seen too much of a difference physically. i figured out (with the help of my bro) that it's because i still am not eating as healthy as possible. i stay away from fast food most of the time (except when david insists on getting it!) and i totally cut soda out of my diet. but aside from that i'm not counting calories or anything. i hate dieting! i wish you could just work out and not have to control your diet and still lost weight. grrr...

so there a a couple new things that are going to take place in my life in the next few weeks. if you're interested, read on:

i'm joining my bro, sis, and cousins in dancing for their halau. my bro and sis have been dancing hula/tahitian for a long time, and my cousin, pj, just joined. i've been wanting to join for a long time but was either too busy or lazy. i'm so excited!

i'm meeting up with my church's young adult group! many, many months ago they passed out a survey where parishoners were to write down what they think the church could improve on. i made the comment that i hadn't seen the young adults active in the church, and that while the youth group was strong, the young adults were nowhere to be found. someone from the church contacted me and is coordinating a meeting with some other young adults and myself. we'll see what comes about from all of this. i definitely feel God's hand working...i wonder what he has planned!
i'm going on a cruise! to mexico!

i'm moving in with david. (more regarding this to follow later...)

so there you have it. life around these parts is never boring. oh, on a side note, check this out for your viewing pleasure! my david has invested in a very, very expensive camera and has been working on his personal portfolio. he's getting better and better every day at taking shots, and i'm really proud of how he's progressed.

here are just a few random photos from my good ol' point and shoot cannon!

the newest addition to the dioneda clan...noah douglass! he was a day old in this pic, which was taken about a month ago. the number of guys in our family are increasing!

my cousins and i at the most recent cotillion

mi familia...with all the s.o.'s included. this was at billy and pj's bday celebration at horizons in the city. my friends told me to hold my arm away from my body so it won't look fat...then they laughed when they saw this pic. suuuper posed.

and the following pics were from a night in downtown fullerton. that weekend was one of the best weekends i've had all summer. i'd almost forgotten how much i missed being around all my old friends...it's always good times with these people!

starting off sloooow...

you know how much we looove to dance!

i love this pic. except i don't like how derrick's hair looks. oops, i mean...i looooooove derrick's bangs in this pic. they look hot.

goodbye, fullerton. until we meet again...

help, i'm trapped!

2008-07-10T12:28:00.001-07:00

last night i stayed at david's place while he was working the night shift at the hospital. he came home this morning, and after checking his email and finding out that his camera package was shipped out to my house today, left so that he could be over there to answer the door. i was still sleeping, so i stayed behind...

only to be woken up by a louder than life, piercing fire alarm. i figured it was a test (david says they do that periodically in the morning time), but it didn't turn off right away and it was starting to hurt my head! so i tried to quickly gather my stuff to leave...but the door would not open. the lock was stuck -- this had happened once before so i knew what the problem was, but that time david was on the other side of the door and was able to get in.

i tried desperately for 20 min. to try and get it open, but to no avail. that was at 8:45am. i've been wandering aimlessly on the internet since then, while formulating a plan in my head to escape should there really be a fire. i wanted to call david right away to rescue me, but i decided to let him sleep for a bit before i make him get up.

on another note...

i looooooooooove. love. love. summer! :) (um, don't ALL teachers?!) i randomly see families from school at the grocery store/mall/gym and they all ask me, "so....what are you doing nowadays?" in a tone that suggests i must be bored out of my mind. i am the complete opposite of bored. i stay up really late at night, wake up early/late depending on the errands i have to run that day, hang out with the family, go out on the weekends, visit malls with david and window shop. i'm not really doing anything super productive, except for wedding planning, and i'm loving it.

this weekend we're going to sunny southern california yet again for the dayz picnic. i've missed dayz so much and was excited to find that i'm available this weekend to attend the function. it'll be nice to catch up with old friends again.

did you know...?

2008-07-01T20:03:00.000-07:00

i was tagged by my good friend *reen* to give 6 random factoids about myself. here they are, in no particular order:

1. i harmonize to songs i hear on the radio. just typing that sentence made me laugh. whenever a song comes on that i like, i randomly try to harmonize with the melody. sometimes i can pick out the harmony if i listen real closely, but most other times i fail. miserably. in fact, i think this random habit of mine has made my singing worse. and, if my harmony is really bad, i can practically hear joyce laughing at me in side my head.

2. i hate doing laundry. so much so that when i run out of stuff to wear, i go shopping. yup, i'd rather spend money to buy new clothes than wash the ones i already have. i think my old roomies can attest to this. actually, it's not only laundry that i hate doing -- it's any kind of housework -- dishes, cleaning, cooking. man, i am so NOT the homemaker.

3. while living in irvine, i visited a dance studio 3 times with the intention of taking a class. i chickened out all 3 times. the first time i just drove by and didn't get out of my car. the second time i made it to the clear glass window that looks inside one of the rooms and became a spectator for an hour. the third time was the same as the second...pitiful. my old roommate melissa even offered to come with me after i told her the story. alas, i think the opportunity of my career as a dancer has long passed.

4. i (secretly) wish i could be the mother of multiples. twins, triplets...sextuplets, maybe? see, i've been really into watching jon & kate plus 8 on TLC. i practically watch it anytime it's on! everytime i watch the show, i get this overwhelming desire to have kids. i realize that it's a reality show and that they probably make it seem more fun than it really is, but i guess i just loooove the idea of a big family. i always have. now, all this is coming from a woman with no kids yet. we'll just have to see if the desire remains the same after i have a couple.

5. i am very much an introvert AND extrovert. i love to be social, meet new people, be in the spotlight, and hang out with friends. i like hanging out in big groups, as well as small ones. at the same time, i need my moments alone. there are days (weeks even!) where i am perfectly fine staying at home or not talking to anyone. that's why whenever anyone asks me to describe myself i never know what to say, because i am so much the walking contradiction.

6. i love playing board games with my family. we first got into playing cranium a few christmas' ago. i introduced it to my family after playing it in irvine. then we became addicted to taboo. david and i also had a period in time when we would play sequence multiple times a night. (i was introduced to sequence by the very person who tagged me to write this post!) catch phrase made its way into our family parties -- and we have had some pretty funny catch phrase sessions. this summer, the name of the game is monops! 4 hour monopoly sessions are not uncommon in our household!

YOU'RE IT!:
1. david
2. franchu
3. regina
4. emely
5. derrick
6. gian (again!)
7. angie
8. kirsten
9. kathee
10. wing

let's see who responds FIRST!!!

whirlwind

2008-06-26T13:15:00.000-07:00

the past few weeks have been somewhat of a whirlwind for me, and i think i am just now beginning to let my feet come back to earth.

the first major thing that took place was graduation. i survived my first 8th grade graduation with minimal setbacks and almost no drama. did everything turn out well? absolutely. was it perfect? absolutely not, but i will work on nearing perfection in the years to come. did i accomplish everything i set out do do this school year? no, but my main goal was to simply survive, and that i did. they say that a class like the one i had this past year only comes along once in a blue moon. well, in all humbleness i would like to say that i paid my dues and i deserve a break for at least 5 years until my next challenging class walks through my door. ok, maybe 3 years...but still. at least i know next year's class coming up will be somewhat a breath of fresh air for me. i've already had them for one period this past year and know them pretty well. they're a lot calmer, more respectful, but albeit kind of nerdy. and, i mean that in the most endearing way. we'll see if they stay the same once the school year starts.

what other things have consumed my life these past few weeks? well, my cousin had a baby! we have a new baby boy in our family (pictures to come!) and everyone is excited. the cousins, david, and i have been into playing monops (our term for monopoly, of course) and rock band until 5 in the morning. i'm trying to get into the habit of working out and am thoroughly enjoying the workout classes at the gym. and, perhaps the most apparent thing taking up my time nowadays is the wedding. oh, this summer is turning out to AWESOME!

some things to look forward to in the next few weeks:

visits from socal friends
visits to socal friends
birthday's galore
girlfriend cruise to mexico
getting ready for next school year
...and more wedding stuff

stay tuned for my next blog entry: random factoids about me! i was tagged by one of my dear friends....I MISS YOU, GIRL! chrystal said she saw you at the gary v concert...just singing away to his songs! i totally could picture you in my mind!!!

words

2008-04-23T19:35:00.000-07:00

"Careless words stab like a sword, but wise words bring healing." Proverbs 12:18

Words are important: they can hurt or heal. Words can uplift us or discourage us, and reckless words, spoken in haste, cannot be erased. Today seek to encourage all who cross your path. Measure your words carefully. Speak wisely, not impulsively. Use words of kindness and praise, not words of anger or derision. Remember that you have the power to heal other or to injure them, to lift others up or to hold them back. When you lift them up, your wisdom will bring healing and comfort to a world that needs both.

-Criswell Freeman's Purpose for Everyday Living

* thanks, reg, for the words of inspiration. miss you...

* to my friend across the miles, it was nice talking to you today. keep your head up and be proud of the beautiful person you are.

an early start...

2008-04-21T23:28:00.000-07:00

to summer '08!

what's on the (tentative) itinerary for this weekend? well, let's see!

thursday evening - drive down to southern california. one white truck. 5 squished passengers. 2 flying into lax. ETA: 2am.

friday - disneyland, baby. haven't seen you for about 3 years...oh, how i've missed thee!

saturday - visit mesa court and tour the area. drive around irvine and get my cousin acquainted with the usual eateries and hang-out spots.

saturday afternoon/evening - sprit rally!

saturday evening - *secret*

sunday - mass at the 'faith. drive back up to northern california. ETA: 8pm.

in case you didn't know, my cousin, stephanie, got accepted into UCI! :) she's planning on entering the school of engineering as a civil engineer. last weekend she flew down with my sis and took a day trip to uci during wayzgoose. she loved it and came home very excited. i'm hoping to gently push her into liwanag and get her in early -- you know, before all the others. hey, she's free to make her own decisions, but it may help to steer her in the right direction. :D i'd feel so much better about her being so far away if she was in the right hands.

anyway, the plan is for her sib's to come along with us. my sister and her bf will meet us there since they have travel benefits and can basically fly wherever they want. should be a fun road trip if everything works out.

anyone else going to rally?

oh, the joys (and tears) of television

2008-04-17T22:04:00.000-07:00

as much as i hate to admit it, i love to watch tv when i have the time. i think at the end of a long day at work, it's my only stress reliever when i come home. besides the usual grey's anatomy (april 24th!!!) and desperate housewives, i have my regular dose of reality tv...the hills, the bachelor (this season sucks, though), american idol, and survivor: micronesia. which brings me to my next point...

goodbye, ozzy.

this guy is/was like the king of survivor. i think he was born in the jungle in another life. i sort of don't even want to watch anymore because he's gone. everyone else is so blah.

and wasn't the don't stop the music performance on idol the best or what? i loved it so much that i downloaded it on itunes. i know, what a loser-y move. i cannot wait for so you think you can dance! everytime i see dance numbers like that i get the urge to quit teaching and become a full-time dancer. haha! oh, pipe dreams...

oh, and what about the idols' rendition of shout to the lord?! it was a little weird at first but nice to see, really.

speaking of shouting to the lord, the pope is here! i've been following his journey somewhat on tv with my students. in order to be one with the festivities, i took out my vatican flag and waved it around as if i was watching him arrive at the airport. my students didn't even know what the flag was. =/ but it's ok -- i enlightened them.

wow. this post makes me sound like a tv fanatic.

2008-04-07T22:39:00.000-07:00

Happy 28th Birthday,

David!

breakthrough

2008-04-03T20:34:00.000-07:00

and here goes another teaching story...

student: if someone makes fun of me i'm just going to make fun of them back. i've tried everything to stop making fun of people and losing my temper. i tried hitting the wall, i've tried screaming into my pillow, i've tried ignoring the person, i've tried it all and nothing works.

teacher: have you tried prayer?

our principal gave my class a talk today about the bullying that has been going on among the students, especially this week since we've been back. i was totally fed up with what was going on, nothing was working, and things seemed to be getting worse. after the principal left the room, i shut the door to my classroom and opened the floor for students to make comments about the bullying -- no holds barred. i explained (demanded, rather) that all of us were going to lay it out on the table right then and there, addressing each other directly by name.

and, that they did. specific people were called out for being bullies, being pushovers, starting rumors, being mean, and everything else. the ones being bullied confessed their intimidation and fears of speaking up in class. the ones doing the bullying accused others of trying to be "perfect" and gave warnings that high school would be 10 times worse. we've all been bullied somehow. are we just supposed to take it? if we don't dish it out, someone else will just walk over us. why are some people such big babies about it? why don't you stop when you see it hurts me? why do you roll your eyes everytime i open my mouth in class? why did you start that rumor? why? soon thereafter, the tears started to flow from a couple people. then, the teacher aide in my classroom bravely told the class about her experience of actually being a bully in 8th grade. she shared a pretty deep story. by the end of it all, there was not a dry eye in my classroom, and i was biting my lip in order to hold my composure.

my kids continued to share stories like you wouldn't believe. everyone had a chance to speak, and they spoke from the heart. the comments that some of my students made allowed me to understand them so much better than i did before. i was literally shaking to my core the entire time -- that and praying that God would inspire me with words that would help my students deepen their faith and their relationship with others. we ended our conversation in prayer, and everyone went around and prayed for at least one other person in the class. most of my students issued their apologies to whom they have hurt.

when we broke off for recess, one of the yard duty people came to me and said, "what the heck did you do to those kids?" i looked at her, smiled, and asked, "why?" she the told me that all my students -- all 38 of them -- were playing in one big group, hugging each other and just hanging out. the boys weren't playing basketball, the girls weren't practicing their cheerleading, they were just hanging out as one.

i'm realistic enough to know that this euphoric sensation will probably wear off before we even get through our spelling test tomorrow morning. however, i think that more than a few of them are changed for good. and i think all of them now realize that they can change, that they have the power to stop the cycle, and that prayer really does work miracles.

i don't think their classroom behavior will get much better. they're still going to be talkative, they're still going to fool around and try to get away with anything they can. but their behavior towards each other had taken an upward turn. and i'll take that over anything else.

2008-04-02T13:00:00.000-07:00

he brings me my favorite lunch...

buys me coffee in the early morning...

grades my papers when i have too many...

takes care of my family in so many ways...

and then some.

what more could one ask for?

(ok, you can stop gagging now!)

welcome back to reality

2008-03-31T23:14:00.000-07:00

we arrived back from the philippines friday evening, and would you believe i'm still jetlagged? how long does it take to shake this thing?!

we all had a splendid time! while the country itself is an interesting place to be in, i always tell people that the reason i have so much fun in the philippines, year after year, is because of my family that resides there. we only get to bond once a year, and it's always such good quality time. because my pinsans are quite shy, it always takes them a day or so to get warmed up. they are absolutely terrified at speaking english, and i can't very well speak tagalog save for one word exclamations (i.e. galing! social! ay nako!), so most of our conversations are in broken english and one word tagalog translations. it's funny that although language sometimes creates a barrier, the actions that take place between us speak loud and clear.

i have a few stories about our biyahe, but for now i leave you with one that was quite amusing.

while waiting to see my uncle who is the mayor of sorsogon (those are my pinsans you see in the beginning of the video), david and i happend to engage in a short conversation with one of the secretaries in the office at the municipal building. this is how it went:

male secretary: so, are you guys, like, from the states?
d&d: yes.
male secretary: like, born and raised?
d&d: yes.
male secretary: so, you guys are like, american?
d&d: umm, yes.
male secretary: wow, that's great!
d&d: (smiling)
male secretary: well, i really hope that when you get back to the states, you will vote for ramielle malubay. we're all voting here for the next american idol to be a filipina! (huge smile on his face.)
d&d: oh, yes, of course! (trying to hold in our laughter...)

it was really funny. i don't mean to poke fun at him, because in actuality it was rather cute that he would take the time to ask us to vote for a fellow filipino. talk about filipino pride!

i miss them already...

2008-03-31T13:03:00.000-07:00

there's something about jason...

2008-03-11T20:57:00.001-07:00

i don't know what it is, but i really like this guy. i haven't been following american idol too closely this season, but there's just something about the way he sings that i really love. i wonder what the stylists do with his hair every week, though. i mean, how many ways are there to style dreads, really?

one week to go...

2008-03-07T19:13:00.000-08:00

'til i get to visit the motherland!!! although i am very excited, i can't help keeping my excitement at bay until the day we leave. see, it's the end of the 3rd quarter at school, and you know what that means! report cards. ugh. i despise them. i dislike anything that has to do with grading. i just want to teach, you know?! forget about the grades, the percentages, the tests to administer and calculate...just let me enlighten their minds with the activities! oh, how i wish it was that easy. alas, it comes with the territory.

it's going to be quite the busy week for me. i'm going to try and pack my things this weekend so that i don't have to worry about them, but seeing as though i have an academic decathlon to attend to and playoff games to cheer on for my boys, not to mention it's david's weekend off, i'm not sure if packing will find its way into the schedule.

we're actually spending a lot more time in bicol this year -- 1.5 weeks instead of the usual 1 week. not sure if this is such a good idea as days in the province tend to move extreeeeemly slow. we're only spending a few days in manila before we depart back home, but i never really liked/enjoyed manila too much anyway. it's crowded and stuffy and the only thing to do is shop, which can get monotonous after just one floor of mega mall or mall of asia.

trying to see if we can watch mymp, hale, or kamikazee. doesn't look good so far, but i think we may be able to visit mymp at a cafe they're playing at a few days before we are scheduled to leave. too bad we can't see hale...it's david and my favorite band. on our many roadtrips from the bay to socal or the other way around, we would both sing to their songs, especially this one:

and this song was really popular the first time i went to the philippines and i absolutely love it! there's a punk version and an acoustic version -- a lot of other bands perform this song as a cover but i think kamikazee's the original. i never knew what they were saying until i saw it on tv while over there and they put the lyrics at the bottom of the screen. gotta love that karaoke.

just because...

2008-03-04T22:19:00.001-08:00

just love these boys. these photos were taken by david on the boys' 6th birthday last november. i haven't seen them since christmas but i bet they've already grown since then.

this in an s.o.s.

2008-03-02T21:03:00.000-08:00

i wasn't planning on posting wedding related stuff on this blog, but i need your help...

CALLING ALL FRIENDS AND FAMILY!

one of our favorite photographers (we have many!), apertura, is holding a contest for a free engagement shoot! we really want to book these guys for our wedding, but they are super expensive -- and for good reason. their work is amazing. so, we have a favor to ask of you. if you find yourself bored on a rainy day within the next couple weeks or so, could you please send them a story/short essay and photo of david and i as an entry to their "blogstalkers unite" contest (click the link for details!). they're going to pick the best story/couple and announce the winner on their blog. we thought that enlisting the help of a few of our blog readers would fit perfectly with the theme of their contest.

the photo above and below can be found on their blog. aren't they stunning? so, would you consider helping us out? david and i would be eternally grateful. thanks, friends!

to my faithful blog readers...

2008-02-22T17:24:00.001-08:00

i would just like to apologize for my 2-post rampage/venting about the stuff i've been having to deal with lately. you just wouldn't believe the year i've been having. however, i really shouldn't complain. after all, i couldn't wish for any more support than i already have. your thoughts and prayers mean the world to me, and they are what truly gets me through these hurdles. thank you for being so understanding.

sadly, i "gave up" emotionally on my kids this week. i was short-tempered, negative, and not understanding. they sure did notice the change -- quite a few of my 39 tweens asked if i was giving up on the class. without giving them a verbal answer, i think they already knew. today after school i found 2 notes. one was in my mailbox, and it was a letter from my teacher aide.

you are the Lord's instrument. He needs you to be there fore these kids.

it had a prayer card in it with a "teacher's prayer" on the back. the second note i found sitting on my keyboard when i walked back up to my classroom after dismissal.

please keep being as patient and as caring as you are and our class will eventually come around.

i feel like i shouldn't have given up so quickly. the good thing is that after hitting rock bottom (at least, i hope that was rock bottom! any further and i'd be in you-know-where!) the only direction to go is up. it's not going to get easier, but i think i'm going to get stronger.

thanks for the messages, kj.

the last straw.

2008-02-20T21:37:00.000-08:00

what a day.

one of my students lied to me -- straight to my face. later on in the day, i questioned him on a different matter, just because at this point my trust in him was gone. it turned out the second time around he actually was telling the truth. so what does he do? goes home and tells mommy and daddy that his teacher is picking on him. does he mention the fact that he lied to me beforehand? of course not. now, i'm getting nasty emails from the parents and threats about losing my job.

give me a fucking break.

if the Lord is testing me, i think i've had ENOUGH.

in the desert

2008-02-19T22:45:00.000-08:00

one of my students emailed me a very sad email. after reading the message, i really had to take a couple moments to just breathe. i think it was my erratic behavior today as a teacher that caused this student to email me. then again, it can also be seen as one of those reminders God gives you every now and then.

tuesday is our day to go to morning mass during lent. everything seemed to go smoothly while there early. except for a few misbehaving students in the back row, most of my class was too sleepy to even expend energy to fool around. until communion, that is. i don't know about you, but i think it's pretty obvious that while lining up preparing to receive, one does not engage in full on conversations with the people around you. you would think that years and years of catholic education would teach you this -- but i guess they forgot about that this morning. i had to "shoosh" them in front of the entire congregation (which was only about 15 people, but still). i then had students that found something amusing after receiving the body of Christ. what could be so amusing at this point, i have no clue. my mother used to tell me that if i laughed during church or while praying the rosary, that meant that the devil was playing with me. if this is true, then the devil must have been having a field day today. to top it all off, i had students that all of a sudden stopped before going into the row, held up the traffic behind them and created what could only be described as a 15 car pile up next to the pews -- all while others were trying to genuinely pray after receiving Jesus. i simply had to stand and stare. i was livid.

the rest of the day followed suit. imagine standing in front of your class, trying to teach a lesson, when 2-3 pairs of students are trying to have their own conversation. i don't let them get away with this (or at least, i try not to), so i start to give them nonverbal/verbal warnings, and i end up having to stop 5 times in any given 10 minute interval. this is pretty much our everyday, but today just seemed worse. by the end of the day, it took all i had in me to not run out of my class. honestly, i consider myself a pretty strong teacher and a pretty strong person. today, they seemed to beat me.

so, my student emails me and lets me know that she's sad about how our class is not improving. she desires so much to do the kinds of fun activities i did with my classes last year. my students that transferred to my present school after our other one closed have told this set of students that i used to be different. i was nicer, i didn't yell, and i was more interesting. and i would bet that if you walked into my classroom nowadays, you would not recognize the b*tch that i have become. is it the fault of my students? some would say yes. but at the end of the day, don't i always have control over what i say, what i do, and the teacher that i am to even the "worst" of kids?

i've tried being the old miss h., giving my kids small freedoms and laughing with them about silly stories and stuff we read in books or see on tv. i think the old miss h. does shine sometimes. but i revert back to the monster i've become when my students talk back to me, or when i hear my students trying to get out of trouble by using me in front of other personnel and saying "but, miss h. lets us _______!!!" the other teachers say that they know the students are lying, but i can see the judgement in their eyes. i'd like to see them last not even a day in my shoes.

in short, i have spend 10% of my time this year doing what i love -- teaching, and the other 90% of the time disciplining. i know that this is not what teaching will be year after year. and i know that i will get better as i put a few more years under my belt. sometimes, though, when you've spent so much time in the desert, it's difficult to continue to hope for rain.

young love, blogs, and (disappointing) diy cards

2008-02-17T21:31:00.000-08:00

a couple days ago i had the opportunity to spend some quality time with my younger cousin, chi-chi. i picked her up from school and we had a nice lunch together while chatting about what's been going on in her life lately. boy, is she growing up fast. so fast, that i, along with my cousins and my sibs, are having a hard time accepting it. she just turned 16 and is no longer a baby, but she's the youngest out of the cousins that are close and sometimes we forget that she needs her space to be able to grow up somewhat on her own. i look at her and her sister and wish so much to spare them from the pains of growing up, and i especially want to shield them from the love heartaches that i know they will (and have) eventually experience(d).

i remember what it was like to be 16 and in love. i also remember what it's like to think that your bf is the most important thing in the world, and the downfall that comes with having that person hurt you and all of a sudden disappear from your life. being one of the oldest in the family, it is hard to just sit back and watch the people you care about go through tough times. but, i know that at some point you just need to let go. i suppose this is somewhat what parents go through, except on an even deeper level.

yesterday we went to her bday dinner at buca di beppo in the city. all 27 of her friends came, and while walking through the city received stares from onlookers wondering about the big group of asian teens passing by. (it reminded me of my days at uci...) it was fun observing the lives of today's teens, and especially interesting watching them interact with the opposite sex. oh, the excitement of young love!

on a different note, david and my wedding blog is up and running! i wanted to have a separate blog where i could detail the different wedding-related experiences that will soon be taking over our lives in case some of my readers do not care to read about that sort of stuff. heck, even david doesn't care for most of it! he's the type to make decisions quickly and painlessly. i, on the other hand, choose to ponder upon blue or green, flowers or candles, indoor or outdoor until my head spins. (and not from the vertigo! :P) so, if you would like to ponder along with me in the upcoming year-and-a-half, read this.

i participated in a valentine's day card swap with the bloggers/readers from this site that i often frequent and they posted pics of the diy (do-it-yourself) cards we all sent in. each of us received the addresses of 3 other readers/bloggers to whom we would need to send our cards, and in turn would receive cards from as well. sadly, i was disappointed with the outcome of my own cards. i made them in about 45 min. because i waited till the last second (of course) to send them out. i'm even embarrassed because i knew i could have done a better job. well, that's what i get for being last minute.

okay already!

2008-02-09T15:25:00.000-08:00

well, you convinced me. here i am taking some time out of my not-so-busy saturday afternoon to re-enter the blogging world. i do have to say that i've been wanting to blog so badly -- for the past month to be exact. there have been so many things happening in my life. finding the time to write them down is another story.

the holiday season was wonderful! we had the usual dioneda family gatherings, with an added member -- david. this was the first christmas he spent with us and away from his family, and it felt nice to have him there. my vertigo woes put a bit of a dent into the fun, but i got over it and for now, i'm all good.

work has been...interesting. let's see here -- one fight, two suspensions, week-long detentions, sudden headaches, upset parents, recommendations, transcripts and failing students. i think that just about sums it all up.

wedding planning is now fully underway. i was issued a gag order the month of my engagement from my soon-to-be husband so that we could enjoy our engagement before the craziness begins. already this year we've been to 2 bridal shows and numerous venues. i even had a quick consultation with my wedding consultant, francia. i'll be starting a wedding blog soon to record all our adventures during the process! after all, not everyone (including david... ;P) wants to read about wedding this wedding that all day long.

the fam is getting ready for our yearly trek to the philippines. so excited about this. david and his mom have decided to come with, and i am sure it is an experience we will all remember. i love the philippines so much and am truly blessed to be able to go again. luckily, my principal let me take a few days off from school! he was hesitant but recognizes how many hours i work on a daily basis and said that i deserved a break. i'm scared, though. the last time i called in sick the class got all their cell phones taken away and were threatened to have their sacramento trip cancelled.

so, those are just a few highlights of what's been up with me lately. and now, for some photos!

i have more pictures to post but they're on the other CD. stay tuned! :)

unto us, a child is born

2007-12-25T17:24:00.000-08:00

"And the Word became flesh and lived among us, and we have seen his glory, the glory as of a father's only son, full of grace and truth."

Happy Christmas!

update

2007-12-16T20:04:00.000-08:00

the teacup ride is slowing down, thank God. hopefully it will come to a complete stop one of these days, but for now i am thankful that i can now move around without feeling uncomfortable. thanks to all of my friends for their thoughts and prayers. they have done wonders.

lots of things on my to-do list -- catching up is hard to do after coming back from being sick.

find a venue
send out thank-you cards that i've had for about a month now
send out christmas greetings
draft ideas for an upcoming project with lfm
work on these & these
grading, grading, and more grading
shop for gifts

december, where have you gone?

in the meantime, i have this for your viewing pleasure. my brother put it together. enjoy!

round and round and round it goes

2007-12-12T16:33:00.000-08:00

when it stops, nobody knows. :/

thanks kirsten, noreen, boo, & everyone else for your thoughts at this painstakingly annoying time in my life. my vertigo has not yet subsided, and i can't tell if it's getting better or if i'm just able to live with the spinning and swaying just that much more than yesterday. i've already been out of work for 3 days and i fear that when i get back things will be worse off than when i left. i'm going to suck it up and go to work tomorrow, vertigo and all. let's hope the kids will take it easy on me. yeah right, who am i kidding?

i apologize for being such a debbie downer, but i'm on a never ending teacup ride and i want to get off. please make it stop.

on a brighter note, i am able to be on the computer for short periods at a time before my vision goes all wack-o on me. i've been browsing the hundreds of wedding websites there are out there and i must say that this wedding business is serious. i mean, serious. it's like a hobby for some people. just google "wedding invitations" and you'll see what i mean. [Results 1 - 10 of about 6,540,000 for wedding invitations. (0.22 seconds)]

franchu, i need you.

question for all you readers out there: would you sacrifice your wedding detail desires (i.e. favors, invites, etc.) for the sake of getting married sooner rather than later, or would you just wait the extra months to save up for what you really want?

just wondering.

and thank you, david, for putting up with my vertigo drama. yes...vertigo does suck for everyone involved.

benign paroxysmal positional vertigo.

2007-12-11T11:36:00.000-08:00

last friday night i suddenly became lightheaded and extremely dizzy. at first, i thought that the hot fudge sunday i had just eaten from mcdonald's was the cause of this sudden onset of dizziness. however, when the nausea, dizziness, and vomitting did not subside for the next 3 hours, i knew it must have been something else.

david, my sister, and brother took me to the ER that evening and the doctors said i had vertigo. it basically is an imbalance you get that causes you to feel very dizzy and nauseated. the best way i could describe it is the feeling you'd get if you rode the teacups at disneyland and could never get off. that is how i'm feeling right now. i've been in bed for the past 3 days drugged up on valium. i'm starting to kind of "get used to" the dizziness, but it's still persistent and will not go away. even as i am typing this post my eyes are getting all cross-eyed and my head is swaying. david keeps telling me not to push it, but i am so tired of being in bed not doing anything.

the worst part is that the doctor told me yesterday that vertigo COMES BACK. it's not a one time thing. it'll come back and there's no way to tell when, nor is there a way to cure it.

prayers, please.

happy day of thanks.

2007-11-25T23:12:00.001-08:00

the girls and i had a post-thanksgiving dinner yesterday night. the food was delish, and the company of friends was lovely. we had more food than this picture suggests, of course. anyway, i am so grateful for the wonderful friends i have in my life...here in the bay as well as down south. i wish i could have shared a meal with you guys, too.

read about my thanksgiving realizations here.

more pics to follow!

** on a more personal note, david come home! i miss you...

i don't know much, but i know i love you.

2007-11-07T22:00:00.000-08:00

i will never forget my 26th birthday.

st. ignatius church. kneeling in front of mother mary and the blessed sacrament. prayer, peace, and family. it was all so wonderfully moving.

david, you are truly the love of my life.

WE’RE ENGAGED!!!

S.O.S.

2007-10-17T17:54:00.000-07:00

CALLING ON EVERYONE WHO LOVES ALL THINGS RANDOM:

my school is participating in a trivia contest and scavenger hunt and we have until MONDAY to turn in the items listed below. do you think you could help?

- a business card with a picture of a donut on it
- a post card with a 2006 postmark from paris, france
- a red san jose sabercats cow bell
- a ticket stub from a professional athletic event played on 7/7/07
- a cracker box whose back panel contains a photo and signature of rachael ray with a copy of her recipe for "spinach and garlic vegetable dip"
- a "blue chip savings book" which contains one or more blue chip redemption stamps
- a cereal box which includes a picture of an athlete who attended a northern california four year university or college
- a postcard from disneyland postmarked during disneyland's 50th anniversary celebration
(francia....kathee....em....any chance you have this?)
- a receipt for a playstation 3 purchased during 2006
- a twa frequent flight bonus card

these are only some of the items...the ones i think peope will have the hardest time finding, and therefore the reason why i'm using my resources. :)

your prize? a free dinner and place to stay anytime you are in the bay area!!!

you can send these items to me ASAP (email me/comment and i'll get you my address), i'll return them to you after MONDAY, 10/22 and send you a reimbursment for the postage you paid. as you can tell, i want to WIN.

thank you.

am i crazy?

2007-10-08T15:10:00.000-07:00

it's columbus day. we have the day off. the weather outside is beautiful...in the upper 70's and that's HOT for the bay area.

and i'm correcting papers in my classroom.

save me...

did you know...

2007-10-01T18:57:00.000-07:00

that i'm really thankful for YOU being in my life?

when i blog about my teaching experiences i'm mostly just venting and trying to organize the thoughts running around in my head. i try to use it as a method of figuring out my next plan of action. but i think i get so much more out of sharing, because all of YOU are so supportive and encouraging. you really give me the energy to keep going, keep trying, and i am so thankful for that.

every day is a different day...different experiences and situations. some days are better than others, but all in all i believe that things are looking up. well, if they're not looking up they're certainly not getting worse as of this moment. i'll check back in in a few weeks...then we shall see.

for now, i wanted to share something that was shown to us during my most recent seminar.

be enlightened...

that that don't kill me, can only make me stronger.

2007-09-19T15:38:00.000-07:00

doubt. it can be a very evil thing.

when i was hired last school year for my current position at my new school, they already warned me about my class. one of the first things they asked during the interview was about my behavioral strategies and how i dealt with "unruly" kids. i was so sure of my skills as a teacher at that time. after all, i apparently did such a good job that my old school wanted to promote me. and if could handle a class of 20 with little effort, surely a class of 39 middle school angels wouldn't be too difficult.

enter class of '08. the beginning of this school year has been probably the most challenging time i've ever had in my entire life. my class is full of pubescent energy and tween chattyness. when the boys are putting eachother in headlocks in the back of the classroom, girls are passing notes and trying to text on their phones, a small group of students are having an eraser war with one another, a handful of students are reading silently trying to drown out the constant noise of their peers, and yet another small handful are staring at me with their big eyes that seem to say, "get me out of here, please."

are they "bad" students? no. are they malicious? not by any standards. they are simply a class that likes to goof off, and have been allowed to for a long time. word on the street is that they even made a teacher quit in october. some would even say they're driving me down that same road, and i'd be lying if i said that wasn't true.

so right now i am trying to find the delicate balance of being the fun and ecstatic teacher i was last year, to the disciplinarian teacher everyone is saying i should be this year. i used to put my students into groups at least once a day, and have class instruction out in the sun once a week. we'd play all types of learning games, and have very meaningful discussions about real life matters every chance we'd get. so far, i've attemted playing 3 games this year and each time i had to stop it early due to misbehavior. what does work? silent seat work. yuck. there's nothing i hate more than silent seat work...it's boring for the students AND for their teacher! but this is what has had to have been added to our daily routine. so sad...

what's worse is the pressure i feel from others. parents expecting me to change their children into silent & attentive students, older teachers looking at me as the "new teacher who doesn't have her class under control", and students pushing me to my very limits. but the worst pressure is that which comes from myself. i try so hard to come up with new ideas and ways of "controling" their behaviors. my mind is constantly thinking of what i need to do next, how to react to student a, b, and c, and whether or not i'm doing a good job. to be honest, i don't really know if i'm cutting it.

i am faced with a daily struggle of providing a learning environment in which all students can thrive...and my few triumphs come in the small things. i have to always remind myself that God chose me to be here, and i just hope that one day i find out why and that i can prove to Him that He made the right choice. until then, i'm going to have to just keep going.

i ask for prayers, and for the strength and wisdom to teach with love. no matter what the cost.

2007-08-06T12:27:00.000-07:00

"Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the presence of creative alternatives for responding to conflict - alternatives to passive or aggressive responses, alternatives to violence." - Dorothy Thompson

challenge for this week... seek peace.

the end of an era

2007-07-30T12:57:00.000-07:00

i've been somewhat cutoff from cyberworld seeing as though my laptop is not functioning properly and david took his from me, but i can't say i'm all that upset because of it. it's nice to get away from the internet once in a while, especially if there are more important things to do...

like finishing harry potter and the deathly hallows. i think i cried at least once during every chapter. i really wanted to read this one slowly, perhaps so as to bide my time seeing as though this is the last book, but i simply could not put it down. what a wonderful piece of literature. as i read through the series, each book had more to offer than the last -- more action, more excitement, more lessons on how to be a courageous, how to be a good friend, how to love. and boy, the intricate connections throughout the entire 7 books...she is a genius. and i want to become a writer. or a witch...

the other thing that's keeping me busy lately is my cousin's 18th bday party. it's going to be the bash of summer '07 for real. and the dioneda family is going to do it up, hollywood style. we're having a red carpet walk, paparazzi, and black and gold everywhere. the cousins are even doing a weight loss challenge!!! so far i think david's winning...he already lost 3 pounds in like, 2 days.

summer is definitely winding down...i think the party and the best friend's visiting in august are the last two yahoo's for summer 'o7, then it's back to reality. i can't say i'm not excited about this upcoming school year at a new place, but i suppose i'm just not ready for summer to end. alas, we shall not dwell on that at the moment...there are still great memories to be had.

enjoy!

CAUSA party @ the Radisson, LA

Partying in Walnut Creek

Chrystal's sister's wedding, 777

they had this tight photo booth where guests could take pics for free!!! it was soooo cool. i'm definitely getting myself one of these! =)

multi.racial

2007-07-16T00:37:00.000-07:00

http://www.myheritage.com

wow. black, white, & asian! what a great mix! :)

the order of the pheonix

2007-07-12T00:22:00.000-07:00

david, my bro, & i watched harry potter and the order of the pheonix yesterday. i absolutely loved it. i actually was so anxious to watch it that i was about to go to the theater at 12:01am and watch it by myself! it made me want to re-read the fifth book again...i think i'm going to read half blood prince before deathly hallows is released.

my favorite part? when dumbledore takes off with fawkes...me and my bro kept doing his pose afterwards. haha! only those that watched would probably get the joke...

anyways, GO SEE IT. NOW!!!!!!!

i will write you a song...

2007-07-11T00:35:00.000-07:00

10 random reasons why i love you:

1. you work all night long while i am sleeping away, get off your shift as i get ready for work, and still have the energy to drive to where i am and bring me my morning coffee.

2. you always let me have the last piece of food. even when you are still hungry!

3. at the airport, you stand in line for me while i take a seat in front of the tv screens and wait for our plane to depart. not to mention, you (most of the time) graciously let me sit next to the window.

4. if my room gets too messy, you clean it without asking. you even sweep the hair off the floor, and i know you hate doing that.

5. every decision you make involves me, whether i want to be involved or not. you value my opinion.

6. you support my job and the long hours it takes away from "our time."

7. when you gave your coach's speech in front of all those people, you weren't afraid to mention stuff about me.

8. you are concerned for my health. albeit sometimes a little "too" concerned (like when you tried to force me to take an asprin on my plane ride to phils. so that i wouldn't have a blood clot/heart attack?), but concerned nonetheless. like when you vacuumed your newly cleaned carpet because i was getting asthma attacks.

9. you absolutely love making me laugh. and laugh at you, i do. especially when you do the "pop, lock, & drop it" dance. that's my fave.

10. you love my family.

some guys give their girls flowers every day or maybe buy them expensive things...write them poems or songs or take them out to nice dinners. but for me, i'd give up romance for #10 any time...

i love you.

I don't know how to make lots of money

I got debts that I'm trying to pay

I can't buy you nice things, like big diamond rings

But that don't mean much anyway

I can't give you the house you've been dreaming

If I could I would build it alone

I'd be out there all day, just hammering away

Make us a place of our own

I will write you a song

That's how you'll know that my love is still strong

I will write you a song

And you'll know from this song that I just can't go on without you

I don't know that I'd make a good soldier

I don't believe in being violent and cruel

I don't know how to fight, but I'll draw blood tonight

If somebody tries hurting you

I will write you a song

That's how you'll know that my love is still strong

I will write you a song

And you'll know from this song that I just can't go on without you

Now that it's out on the table

Both of us knew all along

I've got your loving and you've got my song

I don't know how to make lots of money

I don't know all the right things to do

I can't say where we'll go, but the one thing I know

Is how to be a good man to you

Until I die that's what I'll do

I will write you a song

That's how you'll know that my love is still strong

I will write you a song

And you'll know from this song that I just can't go on without you

2007-07-10T22:43:00.000-07:00

overwhelmed.

i finished packing up the rest of my stuff in my old classroom today. i was lazy to finish cleaning my classroom out right after school because i was just so anxious to start my vacation. since then, i've spent a week in socal and a week in vegas. i'll also be in socal this weekend for my dad's association's (CAUSA) party. tomorrow i'm going to bring all my stuff to my new classroom...my new school. stopped by there today, and this is what i found:

* tons of teaching resources
* multiple supplies (something i was lacking at my previous school)
* a thick layer of dust along all the bookshelves and files
* file cabinet drawers filled to the brim with lessons and units
* old & faded posters on the walls and bulletin boards
* miscellaneous desk decorations, none of which i particularly like

it's only my second year teaching and so i am still fairly new to the game. i'm not sure what to do because a part of me wants to sweep out everything from the classroom and just start anew. that's what i did last year (although there wasn't too much to sweep out) but it's just soooo much work to do for just one year! what if i don't end up staying at this school? and i'm the kind of person where my environment has to fit me and be comfortable. i don't know how comfortable i'll be with other people's stuff around...stuff that i really don't want to use.

oh well, such is the life of a teacher. i'll figure it out. right now i'm just a bit overwhelmed with the whole thing.

however, i'm also very excited for some other stuff coming up! i'm teaching 8th grade religion next year in addition to other subjects, and i'm sooo looking forward to it. so much you can do with 8th graders and faith. i'm also excited for this and this. summer '07 is proving to be very exhilarating thus far.

all star game was today. pretty exciting that it took place in the bay...i kinda wanted to go and party tonight with all the fans. too bad barry didn't hit any homers...ichiro's was pretty cool, though.

VEGAS was truly amazing. =) my cousin, pj, who turned 21 last friday, my bro, and my other cousins were pretty much drunk the whole time we were there. fyi - flying home after drinking all night and not sleeping is not a good idea. i had to navigate my 18-person group through the las vegas airport, check them all in at the counter, and get them through security. it took us almost an hour. by then, my hangover caught up with me. in the air, i was nauseous and throwing up the whole time. good thing i was sitting next to strangers...

i'll post pic's later...

* by the way, i'm having the same problem that gian is having...it won't let me post any titles! so weird...

it is summer, isn't it?

2007-07-02T01:06:00.000-07:00

today i woke up at 10am and didn't get out of my pajamas (or take a shower, for that matter) until 7pm to get ready for church. you may be thinking that i had a lazy day, which i most certainly did not. the whole time i was working on my dad's souvenir program, which is really starting to stress me out. i've been working on it a lot yet i feel like i've made very little progress. on top of it all i have my dad who is even more stressed out than i am, breathing down my neck to see where i'm at with the project. ay nako.

the only thing that's giving me a bit of sanity is that we're leaving for BEGAS (aka, vegas) tomorrow! and we rollin' 18 deep, too. it's gonna be craaazy. but what's a dioneda family vacation without a bit of crazy? i can remember the last time we all were together on vacation together...they came down for my graduation 3 years ago and then we drove to vegas. before then, we took a trip to the east coast...now that, was crazy. try walking the streets of ny with 20 people in your group, half of them under the age of 18. luckily, most of us are over 21 now. i'm really excited...

i started the memory keeper's daughter a few days ago and am just beginning to get immersed into the story. it's about this woman who gives birth to twins; her husband delivers them and discovers that one of the babies has down syndrome, so he gives her away to the nurse who is ordered to drop off the baby at an institution (it's 1965, that's what they did with "abnormal" kids back then). the nurse ends up raising the daughter on her own. crazy. just the way i like it.

on a side note, i feel accomplished in the world of scrapbooking. i finished the scrapbook i was working on; i used ali edwards' everyday beauty kit and since it's a small book i had an easy time with the layouts. i dedicated it to my lola, and it is filled with pics of my cousins. i may decide to scan some of them and put them up. anyway, just waiting on some cj's to come my way...

** david wants us to buy grillz instead of rings. filled with diamonds. and engraved with a date. oh, what has the bay area done to my boyfriend?!?!

hello, summer!

2007-06-27T11:53:00.000-07:00

a couple nights ago a stayed up 'til 4am scrapbooking. SUMMER is finally here...

it has been nice just being able to stay up late and wake up whenever i want to. such freedoms that have been unknown to me for a while now! i've busied myself with lots of reading (just finished flowers for algernon -- great book), creating, and vacationing. my week down in socal was wonderful, as usual. most of the time we helped david's sis and bro-in-law move into their new house. after finding out what they payed for their awesome house, i started to rethink my desires of purchasing a home in the bay area. it's ridiculously expensive up here, and every time david and i look around at places to live i get more and more discouraged. but, as david says, we'll get there someday. anyway, it was good to catch up with old friends again. yougurtland proved to be a very interesting place to be. my one major goal was to talk to fr. pat and attend mass at interfaith on sunday, and we were able to do both. i told david that one of the reasons i love fr. pat is because he is just so real. tell it like it is, no bs-ing, no sugar-coating, flat out real. i love that about him, and i think i like to see that in people in general. he told me i should basically give my former "boss" (who happens to be a priest) a piece of my mind. when i told him i was scared, he said to write an anonymous letter! he is too funny...

my fam just planned an impromptu vacay to vegas. well, they planned it and i had to book the flights. i was on the computer for almost 4 hours yesterday trying to find a decent price for flights to vegas for 14 (yes, fourteen) people. but it all paid off...$148/person (UAL) on www.cheaptickets.com! the only thing is that we're gonna be there for about a week. what can you do for whole week in vegas?!

got my hands committed to a couple other things coming up soon as well...

1. souvenir program for my dad's group's big event in july.
2. my cousin's debut (a night out in Hollywood, baby!)
3. Liwanag Family Ministry stuff.
4. going back to school.
5. scrapbooking. (i just needed one more for a list of 5 things. i know, i'm weird.)

so, this summer shall be quite interesting. lots to do. lots to look forward to. excited for the days ahead.

welcome, summer!

the end of the line...

2007-06-12T23:05:00.000-07:00

well, tomorrow is the day. the last day, in fact, that our school will ever be open. it's going to be bittersweet tomorrow -- although i am ecstatic that the year has ended and i can enjoy my summer, i'm really going to miss my kids. many have told me that i become way too attached to the kids that i work with -- not only during this job but my last job as a behavioral therapist. but really, how can one not become attached? i talk to these children about God and Jesus and Mary and struggles and relationships and life every single day. i share my life's journey with them in hopes that they will be inspired. i am open with them as they are with me. how can one not become attached? teaching is not just a job...it's a vocation, a calling. and in a world where people have become so utterly detached from each other, not only in the workplace but in all areas of interaction, a little closeness wouldn't hurt.

i read dr. seuss' oh, the places you'll go! to my class last friday and struggled to hold back the tears. i hope they couldn't tell. my favorite line in the book: kid, you'll move mountains.

* * *

i had a bit of a confrontation with my "boss" today. he became upset at me for dedicating a page in the yearbook to our former principal, even after i told him that it came from the kids, themselves. he didn't believe me. he then proceed to blame her for the closing of our school. he also said there were others more "worthy" of the dedication page. i sincerely hope he wasn't talking about himself, because that would be a joke. talk about being a shepherd.

i've never despised anyone as much as i despise him. and that is saying a lot.

so, i pray for him as we all are called to pray for our enemies. i have tried to bite my tongue and hold it in for the past 6 months, but i'm afraid that this last day is tempting me to explode in fury if he comes up to me again. please pray for me. and pray that i don't lose it in front of the kids. be a leader, dee...love your enemies.

God help me.

blessed with a burden

2007-05-30T23:49:00.000-07:00

it's official. we're closing.

just a few weeks ago i remember writing an entry about our school surviving, jumping over the hurdle and triumphing over adversity. they told us that there simply weren't enough students that committed to the school and paid their registration, bringing our total number of students to 82 instead of the 110 that we needed to open our doors for next year.

the interim principal and our pastor broke the news to us friday afternoon. the kids and their families received word from a letter in the mail on saturday, and the parish was informed on sunday. i walked into school on tuesday morning, and already, there were tears in their eyes. some needed to ask me for themselves, as if hearing my answer would make it real to them.

the principals from surrounding schools came and visited that afternoon to sign our kids up for what little spaces they had left. because of our students, many of the schools in our area are now maxed out at 40 students per class. when i looked around the hall, i saw parents crying as they thumbed through parent/student handbooks and signed registration. some even approached me and asked where i was going before they made their decision.

when i introduced myself to the other principals, they all held my hand or gave me a hug and expressed their sympathy for what was going on in our community. but, it was the kids that really needed the support. instead of graduating with the peers they've known since kindergarten, they now must get to know an entirely new class and do their best to fit in.

our school's name means "mother of sorrows," and as one parent so eloquently expressed to me, our mother mary is, once again, sacrificing her own school -- her own children -- so that other schools may thrive and flourish. i told my students that they have been blessed with the burden of staying strong and faithful in the midst of all this confusion and chaos. i don't know if they understand now, but i believe one day, they will.

on a brighter note, i did already find a position at another school. praise God for that. i'll be an 8th grade homeroom teacher next year, still handling language arts for junior high. i'm disappointed that i won't be able to try out the duties of vice principal, though. looks like that dream is gonna have to be put on hold...at least for a little while.

i'm reading a new book that i just started today.

so far it has been real intruiging, and sometimes scary. i was reading in the living room and had to transfer to where david was because some of the scenes gave me chills.

i'm only into the first quarter of the book so far. already i feel as if the challenges of my community and the problems i face daily are trivial.

On the Road...

2007-05-17T23:00:00.001-07:00

it has been almost two years since i made the move back to the bay -- a change in my life that i was weary of, yet ready for. and as i reflect back on what a journey it has been, i am awestruck at the unfolding of His plans for me.

how am i to prepare for tomorrow?

reflect back on yesterday and today...

in the days of yore when i used to live in socal, being a faithful Catholic was easy. it was not devoid of challenges and heartaches, persay, but it was definitely easier to get through life's darkest moments because of what/whom i was surrounded by. sunday's were dedicated to serving at the Holy Mass -- singing, leading, minstering in the highest form of praise possible. if i ever needed to be refreshed in my faith, i had tuesday meetings. felt the need to be with Him? midnight trips to the blessed sacrament were frequent and always with people who understood my need to just be in His presence. the people...how strong the relationships built upon Christ's love really are!

i always talk about how things are so different here. i find myself struggling to go to mass every week. friends are not as readily available to talk to about daily crosses, which seem to be quite a bit heavier nowadays. my tuesday nights are usually spent watching american idol. and yet, as i prepare to conduct our school's prayer service tomorrow morning, i begin to see again the unfolding of His intricate plan.

the road to emmaus...

the story is about how Jesus' friends were not able to recognize Him and He was right in front of their faces the entire time. they walked on the road with Him, chatted a bit, He taught them a thing or two about scripture, and they still could not see. it was not until "He had been made known to them in the breaking of the bread" that their eyes were opened.

it's not as easy for me now to be a faithful servant without all the spiritual ammenities being readily available at my disposal. but i suppose that's the whole point -- being able to recognize Him in everything that i do, all that i say, each person that i meet, the students that i teach. He has been walking on the road with me the entire time. my eyes have just chosen not to see...

for whatever reason, i have been fearful and hesitant to fully let my spiritual leadership side show in front of the entire community, and i know that this can no longer be. this is what i was born for.

do you want to know my most favorite part of the day was today? seeing the kindergarteners, 1st, and 2nd graders lead the rosary with poise, confidence, and child-like spirit. they were the teachers today. the face of God can be no more apparent than in the face of a child.

please pray for our prayer service tomorrow. if log peeps were there they'd be able to sing along with our praises: Open the Eyes, Holy Is His Name, One Bread One Body, & God of Wonders. pray that i have the courage to lead through my actions and my words, and that the children will find the courage to open their eyes and hearts to Him.

May they recognize Him in the breaking of the bread.

it was a good run...

2007-05-16T00:26:00.000-07:00

still believin' for next year...

(don't mind my pose in that last one. boozer = soy sauce packs. yikes!)

2007-05-09T00:12:00.000-07:00

"i want to fall in love..."

"you want to fall in love with who?"

"i want to fall in love...with you."

"good. cuz i want to fall in love with you."

AHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

where are the san leon girls when you need them?!

for i know the plans i have for you...

2007-04-26T17:48:00.000-07:00

i signed.

...my contract, that is! it is official -- i am remaining at my school for the '07-'08 school year. after much deliberation, consultation, worrying, meditation and prayer i arrived at my decision and i am happy with it. i know that come next year it may be more than i can handle, but this is my path and i'm gonna live it up....

as a VICE PRINCIPAL! =) and a teacher, of course! i'm moving up with my class, so i'll teach 7th grade as well as carry out duties as vp. i'm so excited for this next step in my professional career and am anxious as to what it will bring. and, i am thankful. i know i don't deserve it and that i cannot do it alone...i'm gonna try my best to take a back seat and let Him do the driving.

i told my kids the news and they screamed and cheered. one of them grabbed a tissue because she said she was going to cry! another humble affirmation that this is where i'm supposed to be.

* * *

random thoughts:

- can't wait for this weekend.
- got my Everyday Beauty album by AE from CK and am dying to start.
- i love my CD's from the Phils. especially these two:

- i have a pile of "to be graded" papers about 3 ft. high.
- didn't know the labels for blogger posts have to be separated by a comma. duh, dee.
- so ready for rally.
- trying to finish my CJ! sorry, babysitters!
- need to post pics from Phils.
- summer is coming so fast...vegas, anyone?

2007-04-24T18:28:00.000-07:00

my dear LOG alumni,

REMEMBER WHEN...

...we used to stay at Interfaith 'till 2 o'clock in the morning?
...we would sing praise songs 'till our voices gave out?
...our arms and legs would get tired from all the "roll over the oceans" and "it's you, it's you it's you who builds community"?
...delirium would sink in after the 100th time of rehearsing the skit?
...the tshirts weren't ready until the day of?
...everything seemed to go wrong until the doors opened and everything fell right into its place?

i certainly do! well, it's that time of year, folks...LOG Spirit Rally is literally just around the corner and our beloved Lighters need OUR HELP. "what do they need us to do?" you might be asking yourself. is it money? is it food? in actuality, what they need is something that one cannot put a price on...they need us.

let's rally ourselves together and support Liwanag in this year's spirit rally...

"Taste and See"
Saturday, April 28th
Crystal Cove Auditorium, UCI Student Center
doors open @ 2:30pm, rally begins @ 3:00pm
minimum donation: $5

it has been a while, hasn't it? let's reconnect and catch up, alums! they need our support, and we need to show them that we still care about our ever-growing family.

it would be so refreshing to see everyone again! so, bring your bf's and gf's, your family and friends, your babies, husbands, and wives. bring everyone you know and visit the school and the family that was once so much a part of your lives.

will i see you there?

revived&resurrected.

2007-04-17T01:25:00.000-07:00

i am jetlagged. hence, the 1:30am blogging...

my trip to the philippines was, needless to say, amazing. i think two weeks away from the busyness and stress of life here was just what i needed to refresh myself and start anew. it was wonderful. last year's trip back home was bittersweet; my lola had just passed and our purpose for going was solely to be there for my mom and to help out with our responsibilities over there. this year was different. we were able to enjoy it a lot more, talk and bond more with my pinsans, and simply soak in all that the philippines had to offer. on top of that, more of my family members came which made it that much more enjoyable. i wish that my visits there could be more than just once a year. at times i felt like i was making up for lost time when it came to getting to know some of our family over there. no matter how tired or hot or uncomfortable i felt i would try and force myself to endure it all so that i could spend as much time with them as i possibly could. but i suppose this is how it was meant to be, and i can only be grateful that i have had the chance, twice now, to connect with them and begin new relationships that will hopefully last for a long time.

after being immersed in a different culture in a different county for some time, i found myself once again grateful for the things that i have here in america -- freedom, a good job, education, a chance to climb the professional ladder and provide for myself and my future family...and toilet paper. i am also reminded of things that they have that i would like to work on -- respect for my elders, the closeness of my family, and the value of being grateful for each meal i partake in. little reminders that i am sure will allow my life to be that much more fulfilling.

i am still working on getting back into the swing of things. i went into work today with no lesson plan whatsover. in fact, i arrived just after the bell rang! but like i mentioned earlier, i am refreshed and am prepared to wrap up the end of the school year with a BANG!, especially after hearing the wonderful news...my school is staying open for next year! :) yes, we were able to get our numbers up and survive the numerous pitfalls and challenges presented our way and are now preparing to open once again. thank you for your prayers. i still have yet to decide whether or not i am going to stay. there's a lot more that i can't mention on a public blog, but i just want to make sure i make the right decision. i want to work for leaders i believe in. not sure if that'll be the case for next year...

anyways, i think i'll try to get to bed now. i'm not tired, but i guess i'm going to need to force myself so that i can somewhat function tomorrow! more pictures to follow soon...

REVIVED&RESURRECTED. basta...

Jeremiah 17:7-8

2007-03-21T20:15:00.000-07:00

But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.

how appropriate. i hear YOU. thanks for helping me to hear once again, if only for this moment.

look who has a new camera!!!

2007-03-15T22:13:00.000-07:00

david bought himself a Nikon D70s. we picked it up from the post office today. he's pretty excited about it. he thinks he's a professional photographer now. ;)

in my head...

2007-03-15T21:30:00.000-07:00

i'm having trouble hearing.

the past few weeks have been difficult. i've been going back and forth with decisions and opinions regarding the fate of my job and the issues at my school. so much is going on...and it's all unravelling fast. my faith has been wavering. why is God letting this all happen? i asked that question to one of the sisters at my school and she said, "actually it's not God that's doing it. it's the people." she's right. it's amazing how people can lose sight of what's really important really fast.

what is truth? in the book my 7th graders and i are reading (Monster, by Walter Dean Myers) the main character, Steve, says that "truth is truth." is it really that simple? what if what i believe to be true is not what you believe to be true? then how do we decide? who do we believe? what do we believe? i suppose only God will know. but sometimes, we really need to know, too.

my hair keeps falling out. in chunks. and i started to have PAC's just like david. sometimes i feel like my heart is going to explode and i get nervous for no reason. this has got to stop.

so i am/was having trouble hearing His voice over all of this. it's getting a bit better...slowly. but it's difficult. God's voice used to be one of the only voices i'd hear. i had clarity back then. decisions, though they may have been difficult, were easy to make because i always knew the answer. and the times that i didn't know the answer, i'd have trust. i'm trying to get that back.

in the meantime, this has been helping:

these guys bring laughter into my life. :D

thanks for visiting pt. 2

2007-03-15T21:05:00.000-07:00

continuing on...

the coolest picture ever...complete with the coolest people ever.

i call this one, "reflections on BART"

and this one is called "reflections of [mangee] sticky rice"

derrick is picking up on the leggings fad. what a fashionable guy!

pretty kathee

is kirs picking her nose?

at starbucks 'til 3am

thanks for visiting!

2007-03-11T23:57:00.000-07:00

david and i absolutely LOVE it when people come up here to visit! it's refreshing to see old faces again and show them around our city. even though we may not be the best hosts/tour guides, we try to provide each visitor with a good time and a memorable experience of the bay. here are some pics from when derrick, kirs, and kathee were up here:

i'm really embarassed at how messy my desk area is!!! =/ looks like miss h. needs to do some major spring cleaning!

good food at the millbrae pancake house!

anybody know where we are?

yup...derrick and kirs' first time on BART. i can't really tell if they're pushing her onto the tracks or saving her from falling over. hmm.... ;)

isn't this a cute picture?! they painted over the heart; it was previously red with a different design.

there are lots more pics (saving the best for last, kirs!) but i'm tired so i'm going to bed. i'll try to post more tomorrow.

tomorrow is yet another day of work. lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change. please let it be a good day. and if it isn't, help me to endure what you bring to the table with a light heart full of love.

i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

good night, moon.

this one's for YOU.

2007-03-10T21:23:00.000-08:00

it's been long overdue, but here it is. enjoy, everyone!

2007-02-27T23:15:00.000-08:00

does anybody watch SURVIVOR?

i like that show. i always imagine myself on it and getting voted of during the first tribal council. because that's what would happen. i think if i were on an island with em, reg, and fran...only em would survive. she would probably fashion a boat out of banana tree leaves and sail right off the island. i think reg would just spend the whole time crying. i'd probably get allergic reactions to the sun, bugs, sand, and food, and then die. and francia...well, you know how that goes.

i miss you girls.

LENT 2007.

2007-02-25T12:35:00.000-08:00

it's here. a time for penitential prayer, life sacrifice, and giving. it's definitely here.

40 days, in the desert, alone. was He scared...lonely...afraid? what did He pray about? what did He think about? did He cry?

the journey is long and the roads, narrow. we are barely a week into lent 2007, and it already feels like it's gonna be a tough one. but, i love this season. how will i know happiness if i first do not experience pain? i am thankful for the difficult journey and the seemingly unending list of things for which to pray: decisions. his heart. grandma PB. teachers. jobs. school. MD. credential. perseverance. love. relationships. new journeys. old friends. death&life. students. journals. hair. birthdays. no meat. sacrifice. basketball. the playoffs. unity. sister. brother. mom. dad. past&present&future. life.

the list goes on and on. but, i am praying for it all. i am praying for you all. and i know He hears me.

* * * * * * * * * *

let it be known that we are NOT engaged. there have been several inquiries lately. the february 1st post is correlated with the february 7th post. and i probably should've been more clear: "we are excited for this new journey in his career." and i said "we" because most people that texted/emailed/called congratulated us both. my apologies for the confusion!

thank you.

2007-02-07T22:49:00.000-08:00

gratitude goes out to all those that have sent david and me well-wishes and congratulations. we are both very happy about this new journey. thank you.

miss h: alright, we're going to go around right now and tell our classmates who in our lives is our personal hero.

student a: my parents.

student b: my brother.

student c: you.

congratulations are in order.

2007-02-01T20:50:00.000-08:00

guess who is 100% a...

wow. this is so very...wow. david found out, while sitting on the toilet checking on the internet on his sidekick, that he is now officially an R.N. what an awesome accomplishment this is. a year and a half of rigorous school work and months of studying and stressing out has all paid off. and did you know that he already has a job? that's right. my man is a working man now. all is falling into place.

so, congratulations david anthony villanueva, R.N. i am so very proud of you.

this is why

2007-01-31T22:09:00.000-08:00

...i became a teacher. i received this email today from my students after being out sick for 2 days:

Hi Miss H!
The 6th grade class misses you and we hope you feel better.

Here are some direct quotes from your dear students:

" I miss you! When are you coming back? It is not as organized without you."

" I miss you so much. The teacher scares me. I hope you feel better."

" Help us!!! We want you back."

" Help Miss. H.
P.S. I'm doing better."

" I really hope you get well and come back to school. Everyone misses you. :( "

" Hi miss Ms. H!!!!"

" Ms. H, I miss you. Please come back."

" I'm in need."

" Please come back you missed two special days from spirit week."

" Come back soon! S.O.S"

" Miss H, Please come back. I miss you, I REALLY miss you."

" Miss H I wish you were here this week. These two days were like a scary movie. Come back soon. You are the best teacher in the junior high in my opinion. See you Soon."

" I think after these past two days I REALLY appreciate your patience and kindness and the talent you have of being a teacher."

Besides 6th grade my sister misses you too.

Please Come back to US!!!!

P.S. C and M want to say they were singing the song " Where'd you go" by Fort Minor.

* * *

affirmations. reminders. motivation to keep on going when it gets tough. carpe diem, everyone!

p.s. are you guys tired of the teacher stories yet??? =P too bad cuz there will be more!!!

buzz.

2007-01-27T01:11:00.001-08:00

busy bee this weekend. check out the sched.

saturday:
10-12pm science fair
12-3pm working
3-whenevs bbq for j's going away party

sunday:
9-12pm open house & then some
12:30-5:30 basketball games galore
8pm church

i have to remember to put in a request for vacation in march/april. do we even have that? i'm really super excited about my trip to the philippines. more of my cousins are going, and if my bro gets on the ball with his passport then he'll go, too. not all of my cousins are going though. well, at least they're not sure. we're workin on it. can't wait to see my family again. and i can't believe it's been almost a year since my lola's passing. and what a year it has been.

david's preparing to take his nclex on monday. lots of stress and anxiety around these parts. but if you knew what passing this test meant -- to him, and to us -- you'd be stressed and anxious, too.

if you're looking to watch a movie this weekend, watch FREEDOM WRITERS. coaches watch COACH CARTER, football players watch RUDY, females in the service watch G.I. JANE, cleaning ladies watch MAID IN MANHATTAN, old single people watch 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN...

and teachers watch FREEDOM WRITERS.

in a perfect world, this movie would be true. oh, wait a minute! it's a true story! =) that's right, folks...it really happened. and it means that stuff like that really happens. one day, i hope to make that much of a difference.

it's been a long, long time.

2007-01-24T19:57:00.000-08:00

oh, blogging. how i miss thee. i remember when we all first started blogging way back when. i remember being so excited when i told chris lindz and he was like, "blogging? that's so 1990's."

so far 2007 has proved to be...busy. and busy i think it'll be for the remainder of the year. it has been nonstop since new year's. there are days when i am so incredibly overwhelmed that when i get home, all i can do is lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling for hours on end. my hair's even falling out by the handful. i'm that drained. i suppose much of it is my fault -- not knowing exactly how to manage my time well or be productive enough during the daytime. teaching is draining. but i love it.

on a more positive note, something that has been nursing me through all of this is the bscottj's! seriously? seriously! it's quite therapeautic and such a wonderful release. the downside to all the art is that it's so expensive-O! i know it doesn't have to be, but i'm addicted.

i've been watching american idol lately and it has been quite entertaining. i agree with the critics who say that the judges are meaner this time around. but that's television for ya. what do they expect? they want people to watch, don't they?

back to teaching (because that's what my life consists of nowadays). i had a problem with some of my students staggering into class 5 minutes after the bell, so i would shut the door and lock it at an appropriate time. anyone left outside the door would have to suffer a "consequence," which usually consisted of doing a song or a dance or acting of some sort. one of my students chose to do a dance. he imitated michael jackson and started pelvic thrusting the air. bad idea, miss h. needless to say, they don't come late to class anymore. chalk one up for ma'am.

anyone wanna go to ny? $99 one way from jetblue! you have to fly from sfo, though. just an idea...

love is in the air.

this will be a quickie...

2007-01-09T13:58:00.000-08:00

i'm here at school during my one and only prep time during the week and i am using these precious moments to blog. i gave my 8th graders and assignment yesterday and it was to read King's "I Have a Dream" speech and highlight parts that moved and/or inspired them, or write down questions they had while reading. i went around the room checking to see if they did the assignment. one of my students presented a blank sheet -- nothing highlighted, no notes, no nothing.

"Ok class, I see that most of you have done the assignment correctly and completed what I asked of you -- thank you."

"Uh, sorry Miss H, I didn't highlight anything because I thought that the whole speech was inspirational and if I highlighted, it would take up too much ink."

these kids will think of anything to get them out of trouble.

in other news, my observation went suuuuuper well! so excited and thankful!!! =)

better post to come later...

Happy Tuesday!

and 1.

2006-12-10T19:54:00.000-08:00

congratulations, varsity royals. this is only the beginning...

raindrops on roses...

2006-12-09T16:10:00.000-08:00

2006-12-09T15:34:00.000-08:00

Friday = win
Saturday (2) = win, win
Sunday championship = ?

here we go...get your head in the game.

stay tuned for tomorrow's update.

good job, coach. so proud of you.

2006-11-27T00:12:00.000-08:00

last week i was standing in front of my students in line and saw them whispering and staring at me. when they saw me stare back i heard one of them say, "tell her!"

student: Miss H., you look like a pirate today.
me: (looking down at my gray capris, boots, and white long-sleeved shirt) a pirate?! yuck!
student: um, don't worry...more like a kiera knightly pirate, not a johnny depp pirate.
me: oh, ok...i guess that's good.
student: trust us, it is.

kids these days...

***

i need to go to church more. and, i can't wait for advent and christmas to come. rain, cold air, lights and trees, pageants and carols...and JESUS.

HE's coming...are you ready?

giving thanks.

2006-11-23T18:03:00.000-08:00

so much to give thanks for this year. my family who continues to love, friends that continue to care, the love of my life who never gives up trying to make our relationship stronger...

and through it all i keep reminding myself that God is the reason for my life's happiness. knowing that it could all be taken from me in the one breath, i work hard in trying to never take any of it for granted.

thank YOU.

in the news...

2006-11-15T19:50:00.000-08:00

as the air grows colder and raindrops become more frequent, life in the bay area continues to move with the weather.

i am steadily approaching the 3-month mark of being a teacher, and what a ride it has already been! still working late nights at school, continuing to say "yes" to duties and projects i should probably refuse, and trying my best to take in the experience and continue to believe in what i do. the most intruiging outcome of this whole thing thus far has been the realization of God's intricate plan for my life. who would have known that the very same activities i loved while in irvine would continue to be a part of my daily life over here. adoration with my students during first friday's, singing praise songs with the youth choir, praying the rosary as a school, leading faculty prayers, and bringing jesus into my daily classroom culture -- it all makes sense now. and i am moved.

even david is doing his own little part to change the world. okay, so maybe being a basketball coach to 8th graders isn't changing the world per se, but it is definitely changing the small worlds of each of those guys on the team. they come to class tired and sore, complaining that they didn't have time to do their homework because they were playing ball all night. but david is enjoying it, the kids are learning, and the parents look on in awe. so do i.

we just celebrated my mom and dad's birthday's two weeks in a row and are beginning to prepare for my brother's birthday next week. i may be so broke that i won't have enough money for christmas! speaking of christmas, my sister and i have decided on a more modern theme for this year's decor. the blues, greens, purples, and silvers of target really caught our eye and it's going to be beautiful. my brother isn't so sure, however. his exact comments were something along the lines of, "um, did you know it's christmas and NOT easter?!" let's hope people don't get confused.

yes, things are definitely moving in a steady, forward direction. as this year begins to come to its close, i feel good about the change, the growth, the inspiration that continues to be a part of my life. yesterday's homily talked about being holy in your calling -- that you and i are called to live out our "status," whatever it may be, as holy and as faithfully as possible. it reminded me of something blessed mother teresa said about acceptance -- how we should just accept whatever God lays down on our path, not because it's there but because HE put it there. not only should we accept, but we should accept it with a SMILE.

i think that makes all the difference.

DANCE to the music...

2006-11-14T21:09:00.000-08:00

this was fun! thanks, kirs!

from my PURCHASED playlist...
(and, yes. i did actually pay money for these songs.)

1. How am I feeling today?
Honor and Glory – David Bauer (piano instrumental!)

2. Will I get far in life?
I Surrender All – Music for Piano Lovers (ah, let’s hope so.)

3. How do my friends see me?
Step Up – Samantha Jade (you step up I’ll step up too!)

4.Where will I get married?
I Am – Mark Schultz (oh really?)

5.What is my best friend's theme song?
Pon de Replay – Rihanna (what is this song even about?!)

6.What is the story of my life?
Come Clean – Hilary Duff (oh yes. hilary duff DOES, indeed, occupy a space in my place list.)

7.What was high school like?
I Will Be Here – Gary Valenciano (tomorrow morning if you wake up…)

8.How can I get ahead in life?
By Your Side – Hillsong (exactly.)

9.What is the worst thing about me?
Shout to the Lord – David Bauer (um, ok.)

10.What was today like?
I See the Lord – David Bauer

11.What is in store for this weekend?
Place in this World –M.W.S. (roaming through the night to find my place…)

12.What song describes my parents?
Me & U – Cassie (hmm. i don’t know whether to think this is cute or gross.)

13.How is my life going?
Hold Me Down – Danity Kane

14.What song will they play at my funeral?
SexyBack – Justin Timberlake (take note of this, please.)

15.How does the world see me?
Make Me Whole – Amel Larrieux

16.Will I have a happy life?
Stay With Me – Danity Kane (if he stays with me my life will definitely be happy.)

17.What do my friends really think of me?
Pump It – Black Eyed Peas (haha!)

18.Do people secretly lust after me?
Just the Girl – Click Five (oohh…just the girl i’m lookin for!)

19.How can i make myself happy?
Maunaleo – Keali’i Reichel (this is a song about mountains in Hawaii. so…i should go to Hawaii?)

20.What should I do with my life?
Breathe (2AM) – Anna Nalick (yes. thanks for the reminder.)

21.What will the person you marry be like?
Thy Word – Piano Instrumental

22.Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Press Pause – Danity Kane

23.Will you have a fulfilling life?
Bless the Broken Road – Rascal Flatts (i hope so.)

24.How will you die?
I The Lord of Sea and Sky (:D)

birthday WEEKEND.

2006-10-29T23:16:00.000-08:00

this weekend was wonderful. i always envisioned having an extravagant birthday bash for my quarter-century birthday -- you know, surrounded by all my friends at the club or on a yacht for a cruise around the bay (ahem). that's the kind of stuff you hear everyone doing for their 25th. my entrance into the "mid-twenties," however, wasn't as crazy as i had thought it would be.

as the clock struck midnight i was sitting in the car, driving around sf with david and my friends trying to look for parking. we partied at a place called dragon bar and danced to some hip-hop and 80's beats. we were the only ones in the club that sang along to "poison"...i thought everyone knew that song?! the next day, my real birthday, was filled with errands. david drove me around the entire day as i ordered my cake, attended my students' volleyball game, took care of some stuff at school, got my eyebrows done, and picked up food for my party. we then drove 2 hours to sacramento to meet up with my family to celebrate. my mom and aunts and uncles really worked hard at cooking all the food and preparing. it really was the best way to spend my birthday -- surrounded by everyone i love. what more could a girl ask for?

i thought that if i wasn't going to party it up at the club i might as well party hard with the fam. turning 25 was my excuse for getting drunk in front of my family, and no one really opposed. heck, some of my uncles even joined in! grey goose and silver patron...mmmmmmm.

gathered around the table of plenty

first shot of the night. i even made david take one!

i think we're on #3 at this point

david, what are you doing? (this is david after one shot of tequila...)

the real dee is coming out now (this is dee after 3 shots of tequila...)

this is definitely going to be in the slideshow guys

family bonding is fun

thanks to everyone who celebrated with me and for all the texts, calls, and emails i received. sometimes you can't help feel as though you're forgotten once you leave, and it's nice to know that people still care about little old me. :) i am truly grateful. i even got 2 calls from gian! one to say thanks for the cards, and another to say "sorry i didn't tell you happy birthday when i first called you but i forgot and just checked my planner and had to buy another phone card to call you." that guy cracks me up.

thanks, God, for a great birthday and another year of life.

small acts of great LOVE.

2006-10-24T23:45:00.000-07:00

during college, i never thought i'd ever be as busy as i was during my LOG days. countless sleepless nights preparing for concerts, rallies, meetings, and retreats...staying up late to study for midterms and finals (the only two times during the quarter when i studied)...or spending a few hours of spontenaity with the girls. my life was busy then. but nothing could have prepared me for the busyness of being a teacher.

i wake up in the morning and begin mentally preparing for the day. then i go to school and attempt to inspire and educate the masses. inbetween my teaching i busy myself with tasks that would usually be done by other staff at the school, but since we don't have enough people on staff, everyone has to pick up slack. after school i can be found a.) facilitating the school paper meeting, b.) helping with student council, c.) directing the children's choir, d.) working on the yearbook, or e.) tutoring, all the while entertaining parents' concerns about their children. i'm the last to leave school at around 5 or 5:30pm. when i get home i eat, talk to David and my family, and begin grading the 130 pieces of paper/worksheets/essays and various student work i have every night (65 students x 2 pieces of work per student). i go to bed thinking about how my students are doing in class and what i am going to teach the next day. despite all of this, i am loving what i do.

we are learning about Saints this week, and i told my kids that Saints were ordinary people who did things with extraordinary love. i have to remind myself to be like the Saints...

one day last week i talked to my students about a friend of mine who needed prayers. i asked my kids if they could do me a favor and help me help him. so, my 18 sixth graders made cards with inspring notes inside of them for my friend. some drew pictures of jets and planes, others drew men dressed in camoflauge with big thick glasses, and some even cut out different color designs to make them look pretty. after the kids turned them in, i commented on how beautiful they were, not yet knowing the beauty that rested within. i read the cards that brought tears to my eyes, and thanked God for sending me students that continually teach me about what love is. here are some of my favorites...

*note: names are ommited for fear of one of my kids searching for our names and finding me!

Dear Mr. A,

I hope you are doing well in boot camp. I admire those who sacrifice their lives to serve their country. I appreciate what you are working for and I will keep you and the rest of your troops in my prayers. Salamat pos a ginagawan ‘yo. Lahat ng ginagawa n’yo ay nata tulong samin. God bless you. =) P.S. Sorry for sp. errors in my tagalog!

Dear Mr. A,

I hope you are doing well at your boot camp. I admire your courage and determination to do such a hard job. I will pray for your safety and wish you luck.

I am in Miss H’s class and my name is J. Miss H explained a little about you and she encouraged us to write letters to you. Thank you for reading this letter. I hope you succeed at your training. Take Care.

Dear Mr. A,

I hope you’re not feeling too bad there. I know it’s really heard at boot camp but if you want to join the Air Force you have to deal with it. Once you’re done you can join and I’ve heard it’s a fun job. People say you get a good feeling knowling you’re one of the people who’s protecting American citizens from terrorists.

I hope you enjoy your career in the Air Force. Try your best always and everywhere. Make sure as many pilots come back as possible.

Dear Mr. Anaclento,

I wish you good luck at bootcamp. Miss H, my homeroom teacher, told me about it. I would like to know when you have to sleep and when you have to wake up. And I would also like to know what kind of things you do at bootcamp.

Everyone here at school is praying for you. The person who misses you the most is probably Miss H.

triple red hot seven.

2006-10-10T00:01:00.000-07:00

though i hesitate to say it (because i know as soon as i utter the words, things will change!) things have finally started to calm down around here. for the past month and a half i have been pretty much disconnected from the outside world -- with the outside world being anything other than teaching. my life has consisted of grading, lesson plans, teaching, administration drama, and the building up of a school that is in desparate need of change. inspite of all this i love what i am doing and i continue to strive for better things, not for myself, but for those whom i serve. more to come on that subject later...

what i really wanted to blog about was this weekend. my familly, david, and i took a mini-vacation to viva las vegas! my dad got elected president of his filipino association and was inducted into office this weekend -- they held the festivities in vegas because there are a good number of members that reside there. so, we all took a plane ride over and had lots of fun with big sticks and margaritas, wheel of fortune, and of course, shopping. the timing was perfect since derrick was there with his family, too. we didn't party it up too much, but i was satisfied with the much needed relaxation and fun. it was simply rejuvinating to be around family without having to worry about my students (though i did bring along 3 large manila folders for grading...haha!). yay for family!

one of my good friend's gave me some awesome advice after i vented to her about how stressed out i was with being a first-year teacher. she said that it is a major stress reliever if you simply take the time to see your friends at least 6 times a month. i've employed this piece of advice lately and i must say it has worked wonders. i am finding it easier to get through the week, and i think i have less pimples because of it, too!

speaking of friends, i will regretfully admit that i have been such a bad friend since i embarked on this new journey in my life. i have not made the time to be a better friend to those whom i truly miss, and i am sorry for taking you all for granted. thank you for all the texts, comments and voicemail messages. thank you for the prayers. i miss you all, i am praying for you all, and i am definitely trying to keep in touch more. thanks for understanding.

and to two very special foo's in my life:

to my one-to-one big stick drinking buddy...thanks for the nice conversation during the car ride. it felt really good catching up with you. i really am praying for you...for the wisdom to follow the path you were made to follow. it'll happen...getting the job, seeing the world, and finding the one. (in that order.) hope to see you up here soon!

and, no, david...i didn't forget about you. thank you for never failing to be my number one support. i have survived this first month and a half because of you...

behold the handmaid of the Lord

2006-08-27T23:56:00.000-07:00

be it done to me according to your will...

Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all.
-Ephesians 4:1-6

let's do this.

off the screen

2006-08-09T01:09:00.000-07:00

does anyone know how to post videos on blogger?!?! i humbly implore your help as i have quite THE VIDEO to show.

wave hi to the camera!

oh man, i'm dying of laughter...