to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
it's interesting how life changes.
i have always been someone who never welcomed change. i remember the girls and i would talk about it all the time -- how we were afraid of change and leaving the comfort that "sameness" can bring into our lives. when we are comfortable and happy in a certain place at a certain time, it's hard to get up and just leave. it does take strength...especially when you are unsure of what lies ahead.
the issue for me was never not wanting to come back home...i guess it was more of not wanting to leave. i miss it. i miss the weather, the shopping, the adventure. i miss the spontaneity and the faces. i miss the talks and the singing and dancing and laughing. i miss the community...the family. i miss seeing people. i miss the kids and i miss seeing them grow. i miss carne asada and pesto pasta...and boy do i miss the mizithra. i miss mass. i miss directing. i miss roommates. i miss...
on a slightly different note, i was reading a friend's blog today and i was really feeling her thoughts on needing to censor (is that the right word?) her blogs and the hesitancy felt when it came to writing down certain thoughts. i don't know what it is either, but i totally feel the same way. i'm not sure why. then again, maybe i do know why. it's hard to let the words flow freely when in the back of your mind you know you will have an audience who will read your words and have some sort of opinion about what you wrote. sometimes, you just want to write for yourself...for whatever reason...without anyone responding back. and sometimes, you want people to respond...you want to know that your friends care about what you're going through and you desire to know what others think. sometimes i think people cater to their audiences when they write...and others don't and get in trouble for it and will then have to remove their blog from the public eye due to anonymous comments written in anger, frustration, hurt...confusion. (imagine if we wrote down our every honest thought about everything and anything for the whole world to see...hmmm.) i don't mean to sound like i think blogs are a bad idea...i love having a creative space to work with and i love reading other people's blogs if only for the mere fact that that's the only way i know what's going on in their lives. (and, NO, i don't just look for my name...contrary to what others may think/say!!!) i don't know where i'm going with this and i think somewhere along the line i may have missed my point. =/ ANYWAY, i don't know if my friend feels the same way i do but i thank her and appreciate her thoughts for they always seem to inspire me in ways that go beyond words.
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