in my head...

i'm having trouble hearing.

the past few weeks have been difficult. i've been going back and forth with decisions and opinions regarding the fate of my job and the issues at my school. so much is going on...and it's all unravelling fast. my faith has been wavering. why is God letting this all happen? i asked that question to one of the sisters at my school and she said, "actually it's not God that's doing it. it's the people." she's right. it's amazing how people can lose sight of what's really important really fast.

what is truth? in the book my 7th graders and i are reading (Monster, by Walter Dean Myers) the main character, Steve, says that "truth is truth." is it really that simple? what if what i believe to be true is not what you believe to be true? then how do we decide? who do we believe? what do we believe? i suppose only God will know. but sometimes, we really need to know, too.

my hair keeps falling out. in chunks. and i started to have PAC's just like david. sometimes i feel like my heart is going to explode and i get nervous for no reason. this has got to stop.

so i am/was having trouble hearing His voice over all of this. it's getting a bit better...slowly. but it's difficult. God's voice used to be one of the only voices i'd hear. i had clarity back then. decisions, though they may have been difficult, were easy to make because i always knew the answer. and the times that i didn't know the answer, i'd have trust. i'm trying to get that back.

in the meantime, this has been helping:



these guys bring laughter into my life. :D