Saints Anne & Joachim, pray for us.

Good parents of the Blessed Virgin Mary, grandparents of our Savior, Jesus Christ,

When life seems barren,
help us to trust in God's mercy.

When we are confused,
help us to find the way to God.

When we are lost in the desert,
lead us to those whom God has called us to love.

When our marriage seems lifeless,
show us the eternal youth of the Lord.

When we are selfish,
teach us to cling only to that which lasts.

When we are afraid,
help us to trust in God.

When we are ashamed,
remind us that we are God's children.

When we sin,
lead us to do God's will.

You who know God's will for a husband and wife,
help us to live chastely.

You who know God's will for the family,
keep all families close to you.

You who suffered without children,
intercede for all infertile couples.

You who trusted in God's will,
help us to respect God's gift of fertility.

You who gave birth to the Blessed Mother,
inspire couples to be co-creators with God.

You who taught the Mother of God,
teacher us to nurture children in holy instruction.

You whose hearts trusted in God,
hear our prayers...

Pray with us for the ministry of Catholic family life.
Pray with us for the ministry of Natural Family Planning.
Pray with us for all who give their time, talent, and treasure to this good work.

For I know the plans I have for you...

"True devotion to Mary takes its rise not from below but from above: not from feelings of affection but from faith.  In the first place it means clinging to God and accepting his design...God has willed to associate Mary with his work of salvation...It is not for us to set limits to the divine action or to dispense with the intermediaries God has freely chosen...In God there is room for every kind of superabundance."

- Cardinal Leo Joseph Suenens

taken from Through the Year with Mary (Edmisten)

I have never really thought of myself as the type of person that needs to be in control.  On the contrary, I've always considered myself somewhat of an easy going, laisez-faire, go-with-the-flow type of gal.  That kind of demeanor has always allowed me to be able to deal with whatever lemons life decided to throw my way.  

Recently, however, I've realized that I am much more concerned with my life's outcomes that I previously thought.  Perhaps it is my age (do people's lives really go downhill after 30?), my profession (what teacher isn't controlling?), or my status of being newly married (yes, it has been two years, but it's still new to me).  It probably also has something to do with certain challenges that have come up in my life as of late.  Whatever it is, I have this urgent need to be in the know about what is happening, or what is going to happen, today, this week, this year.  I desperately desire to map out a plan for the next 5 years of my life.  A plan for what?  For life, I suppose.  This concept is somewhat foreign to me, and I'm trying really hard to adjust.  

What I am slowly starting to realize is that, while it may be all well and good to want to road map my life, I am not leaving room for His plan for me.  Where is that supposed to fit in?  Are my plans God's plans?  Or vice versa? 

'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.' (Jeremiah 29:11)

He has a plan for me.  And when I dwell on the fact that things aren't working out as I had planned, when I become bitter about not getting what I want, when I think that life isn't fair because of what I have to go through, I am limiting his plan for me.  Not that I want to compare myself to Mother Mary or anything, but what would have happened if she decided to limit His plan for her?  Through her acceptance of God's will, the miraculous happened.

It's funny how amidst difficult times in my life, I often refer back to my college years when I first realized how much loving and trusting in God was integral to my very livelihood.  God's dreams for you are bigger than your own.  I remember saying that phrase often back then, and it rings loudly in my ears right now.  How easily we forget what's important.

Trust.  Acceptance.  Faith.  Clinging to God and accepting His design.  These might be the only things that are keeping me sane at the moment.  I don't like not knowing what's ahead of me, and I am having a hard time relinquishing control.  Though it is a daily struggle, I will continue to try and work at it.  It's not my place to try and limit God's action in my life.  In God there is room for the miraculous.  That's what I'm praying for.

life plans and life lessons

there comes a time in one's life where making plans and looking into the future become inevitable.  it's a sign of growing up -- a point in time where one realizes he or she must stop playing games and start getting serious about life.  it's only natural.

but then what happens when those plans don't work out the way you want them to?  what happens when you try to do things right, so that everything you had planned for yourself happens just the way you had envisioned it?  you start to second-guess yourself and begin to wonder whether or not you're on the right path, because it's turning out that this isn't really the path you had planned for to begin with.  if you live your life as a good person and try to always do the right thing, why doesn't the right thing work out for you?

it has taken me awhile (a very long while) to begin to come to terms with my present situation in life, but i am getting there.  see, i always thought that there was an order to things when one became an adult: college, job, marriage, children.  as vain as this may sound, i always figured all these things would come easy to me.  so when the children part proved to be much harder than i thought it would be, i felt like a failure -- like all my previous successes meant nothing, because i could not succeed at this.  one miscarriage...okay, that was a fluke.  two miscarriages...it's probably coincidence.  three miscarriages...what did i do to deserve this?

i won't go into the details of what each tragedy, each loss did to my life.  i've moved forward, and i am continuing to heal.  but in all of the suffering, i have learned a very valuable lesson.  i am loved.  for this lesson, i will always be grateful.