it's been a long time comin'...

my lack of blog posting is a testament to how crazy busy life has been for me these past few months since my bday in late october. crazy busy...but, crazy beautiful.

perhaps the biggest thing that has taken place in our lives thus far is that david and i purchased this:

the front of our house

the back of our house

path leading up to our door (as you can see the houses in front of us aren't even fully built yet)

our neighborhood

we started looking around for a house earlier in the year, found a couple, placed a bid on one, but it fell through. so, we stopped looking for a while. then, partly out of boredom and partly because of the buyer's market in real estate we started looking around again in october. since we didn't have any luck around the penninsula side of the bay, we looked further away towards the east where property was much cheaper, and much newer. around my birthday time we decided to take the steps to purchase a new house that wasn't even finished being built yet, and a month later, the day before thanksgiving, we closed escrow and were the proud owners of a brand new home!

since then things have just moved so fast! we have been moving in our things little by little, buying the essentials here and there, and just simply enjoying being in our own place. sometimes i still can't believe it is truly ours. i never thought we'd be able to have a house like the one we have. it's not a huge place, but it fits us for right now. it's 4 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms, and located very close to lots of restaurants and shops. we don't have a backyard, which is the one thing i wish it had, but we do have a small front yard and space on the side of the house for planting. the best part is that we were able to get it for such a great price! everyone was telling us that now is the time to buy, and we're glad we listened.

hmmm, so what else has been going on? well, work has gone by equally as fast! now that can be a good thing and a bad thing! in terms of behavior management with my class, i am having a much easier time this year. i love my students! ok, some days i really dislike them, but in general i love the class i have this year. we definitely have a connection and an understanding between us, and they challenge me in ways that i have not been challenged as a teacher. i have had some of the most amazing conversations with them; they've discussed faith and religion with me in ways that no adult ever has. some days i wish there was a camera in my room to which the world could have a glimpse into how these young people think about their own faith. they desire so much to find truth and understanding -- i preach to them about loving God and they ask me why. they don't just accept what i say. they argue with me, not to annoy me but so that they can seek the truth! it's no longer the generation of just accepting that there is a God because your parents and teachers tell you that there is one. these kids have less and less role models to look up to when it comes to religion and faith, it is no wonder that they question it! so, it is in arguing with them and trying to answer those "why's" that my own faith has been deepened. and it is during those conversations that i realize why i am a teacher.

it's just a few minutes before NYE and come to think of it, i haven't even thought of a new year's resolution for 2009! survive, maybe? oh, 2009 i am not ready for you yet!!! i have our class' washington trip to plan (yes, we are going to D.C. baby!), graduation, oh...and not to mention...MY WEDDING! it's going to be a crazy year! crazy, but oh so beautiful.

i am loved...

by my students, my coworkers, my friends, and my family. i am even loved by the japanese waitress who called me "Duhnnnah" today. i am loved.

today started off like any other ordinary day -- waking up to an alarm that had been snoozing for an hour, showering, making coffee, and getting ready for work. when i got to school, i walked up to my classroom to find the outside of my door decorated so beautifully! a couple of bday elves had been there the evening before to do this for me, and it was probably one of the best gifts i received!

each one of my jr. high classes sang "happy birthday" to me. it was so sweet...and weird hearing it 3 times in a row! they were so well-behaved today, too! they said it was their "present" to me...haha!

Some funny quotes from today...

me: hey, so what are you getting me this year for my birthday?
david: i'm buying you a house...what more do you want from me?!

me: there's no way that no one is coming through the office after school.
student a: that's a double negative, miss h!
student b: give her a break, it's her birthday!

student a: how old are you today, miss h?
me: guess.
student b: 33??
student c: 17??
me: i'm 27...and i'm old. (ms. h makes a sad face)
student d: you're not old, you're young! and beautiful!
me: why, thank you, student d!
student d: you're welcome. can we not have homework tonight?
me: gives student the evil eye

as the day ends on this bday of mine, i reflect upon the events of my life thus far. i've been through a lot, and i know that there is so much more to come than i can ever even try to imagine. i'm actually sad to be entering my late 20's, but i can honestly say that i'm content with where i am in life. sure, i could be thinner, a better teacher, a more faithful servant, and a better fiance...but i know that my imperfections are made whole in God. i'm so thankful to even just be alive.

lots going on with me recently...lots more going on with the double d's. still wishing, and hoping, and praying that all will be answered the way it is supposed to be.

looking forward to this friday's PARTY BUS!

good night.

new beginnings?

the double d's are that much closer to fulfilling their dreams. let's hope everything works out...

prayers, please.

weeelcome to the baaaaazaaaaar!

Blogging live from David's blackberry...

We are currently on the road to sunny San Diego where Audience of One will reunite once again! We have been blessed with the oppurtunity to play for Mater Dei's bazaar and we are soooo excited about it! There's something about singing to God that lights my fire...

So, if anyone is available this weekend, please stop by and enjoy th music in the company of friends! We'll be on stage sometime between 4pm and 6:30pm. Pray for us!

Oh, and if you need directions...call David. :)

the power of prayer

recently there have been lots of people i know who have been going through some rough times. my heart goes out to them...how i wish i lived closer so that i could be there for them in their time of need. i hope they know that there are so many people out there praying for them and sending love their way. things will get better...they always do.

my students asked me recently why God allows bad things to happen. i didn't really have a straight answer for them, but instead asked them how anyone would know what true joy felt like unless they first felt pain and sorrow. how could we ever know what love is if we first do not experience heartache? how can we know life unless there is death?

praying for you, my friends.

change

i'm not a fan of change. i don't hate it as much as i used to, but i wouldn't say i'm welcome to it all of the time. in fact, most of the time i try to avoid it.


today we had a very chill evening with the cousins for steph's last night in the bay. pizza, rock band, and forgetting sarah marshall. i was pretty tired from the day's events, but i was more sad about her leaving. i think i really was one of the people who really pushed her to go away for college and have the experience that i had. at the same time, there was a huge part of me that was selfish and wanted her to stay closer to home. i'm afraid that i'll miss too much of her life, that she'll have all these experiences i'll never know about, and perhaps i just don't like the idea of her being out of my "reach." little girls have to grow up sometime, i guess...

but even now, i'm telling myself to take comfort in the fact that she'll be in my hood. she'll be in a place where i reconnected with God, found life-long friends, and decided to dedicate my life to His ministry. no, i don't expect her to follow in my footsteps despite what the family says (not that that would be such a bad idea ;P), but at least i know she'll be surrounded by good people, and that she'll always have a safehaven to run to...just in case.

i really wanted to go with her this weekend to move in. i think it's better that i don't. it'll be emotional enough with her family, so i'll just cry by myself this weekend and wallow in trying to accept the change that is inevitable.

pray for us, please.

being a teacher is hard. being a catholic school teacher is harder.

pictures!

CHARLES' 2ND BIRTHDAY

i love this picture. it really sums up the personalities of the 3 siblings. if you knew the type of people they are, you'd laugh at this pic...in a good way, of course!

uncle david and charles

birthday boy



CRUISE TO MEXICO, SUMMER '08

no, we are not trying these on for fun! standard emergency drill...

go for the GOLD, baby! we totally won at family feud, got these gold medals, and went around the whole night sporting the gold! so. much. fun.

the girls after dinner

view of the sea

we were on the bus to rosarito and there were these people that were singing songs that i've never ever heard of. they were young like us, too! so, maria and i started singing hiphop songs to our friends and they would guess the song.

** next picture post: em, fran, and chellebee's visit to SF! **

so it began

as you can see, i've jumped on the bandwagon following people who have been changing their blog templates. i was ready for a change, and i think i like it.

3 weeks ago we started back up with school, hence, the blogging hiatus. it has seriously been non-stop since day 1. my year looks promising; i have a new position in school, am getting closer to all the teachers, and have a class that is drastically different than their predecessors. while i have to deal with the usual chattiness and rolling of eyes you get in any 8th grade classroom, the disrespect does not go further than that. they are easy to get along with, higher performing academically, and trustworthy. i took them to mass this morning to attend a funeral for a custodian that used to work at our school, and i was actually able to pray and be fully present during the celebration. last year, my eyes darted about during mass, and i could usually be seen walking up and down the aisle making sure the students weren't using their cell phones, touching themselves, or laughing inappropriately. all in all, i say it's going to be a great year. busy, but great.

oh, we're also going to washington, d.c.! as a supplement to our goverment and civics curriculum, the students will be visiting the white house and several monuments around d.c. 36 catholic school tweens running around on the other side of the country on their first trip away from mommy and daddy...i'm scared. we'll be going in may, a week before graduation, a month before my wedding. it's going to be interesting!

aside from the happenings of being a teacher, there are a few more updates in this life of mine:

• our YA meeting was postponed due to venue issues, but is now back on and set for 9/27. prayers are much needed and appreciated!
• i started dancing for Te Mau Tamari'i A Tiare/Na Kamali'i A Kiele along with my cousins and siblings. there are 7 of us in the family who dance together, and it has been a lot of fun! it's more difficult than i thought it would be, but i enjoy the challenge.
• david and the cousins joined an asian basketball league. they have games every sunday. unfortunately, their record isn't very good, but they are definitely improving every week!
• david's nephew, charles, turned 2! the party was fun -- lots of kids and vietnamese food/people. he's more engaging now and at a very fun age.
• i went on my first cruise ever a week before school started. i had the time of my life!

if i remember and/or have some time, i'll try and upload some visuals of the past couple events. i'm so bad with pictures! (even though i love posing for them...haha!)

top 10 signs summer is ending...

10. fall clothes are displayed in stores

9. the cousins start a mad reading dash in order to finish their summer reading

8. you start to see commercials for the beginnings of new seasons for your favorite shows

7. the fog starts to roll in earlier and leave later (in daly city, of course)

6. there are less good movies being shown in theatres

5. your principal starts emailing like crazy

4. you start to train yourself to sleep by a normal hour, instead of 3 or 4 in the morning

3. the family just now starts talking about taking a summer trip. this summer

2. no more friends are planning to visit the bay area

1. you start having nightmares about the next school year

last night i had a bad dream. it was the first day of school, and when i walked into my classroom i saw the same students from last year sitting in shiny desks. there was one new addition to the class, a boy that i knew from high school who used to be so mean and sarcastic to the students and teachers back then. i ran downstairs with my "resignation" paper in hand, desperately searching for the principal. when i finally find him and hand him the paper, he refuses to accept it and i am forced to go back upstairs and face my new "old" class. instead, i try to run out of the school, but can't escape.

i seriously woke up sweating.

***

once again, i had a great, adventurous weekend. more to come later!

114 days until....

i can't wait!

come and follow me, i will bring you home

a couple days ago i posted about meeting with my parish's young adult group. well, we met today and it was quite interesting! see, when the lady from the church contacted me, i assumed she simply wanted to point me in the direction of the YA group so that i could be a member. after further conversations and emails, i got the feeling that she wanted to be more than a member. boy, was i right.

i came to the meeting not knowing what to expect, but i told god in my prayers that i would be open to wherever he wanted to take me, as long as he would be there to help. the lady introduced me to the core group of YA's, and we all had a mini faith sharing about where we came from, who we are, and where our relationship with god was. towards the end of the meeting, she proposed that i be the "leader" or advisor to the group. i was truly taken aback! she had no idea who i was...she only knew that i had a bit of "experience" with YA's, yet she trusted me enough to be an advisor?!

after she left the meeting and i was alone with the core group, i confessed to them that all i wanted to do was join and be a member. however, if they needed me to be more than that, i would definitely be open to it. i told them that i would do whatever they wanted me to do, because all i wanted was to serve. i had a flashback to last sunday when father mentioned in his homily that we should all take life as it comes. deal with what god gives you, and have faith that all will turn out ok. i tried to keep this in mind during our conversations, because i really started to get scared. i am afraid to take on so much responsibility so fast...i'm afraid to have these people depend on me to lead them. i guess it's that fear that helped me realized i was doing the right thing. when i was chosen to be a leader in liwanag, i was afraid. the person who chose me told me that if i wasn't afraid, then it wasn't meant to be.

since i've moved back i've always been searching for a way back to the church. i've been wanting to be more than just a sunday church goer. i always felt like he was calling me toward something, but i didn't know what. i'm not entirely sure if this is it, but i'm rolling with it.

i'm going to have to dig up the binders and email my resources (ahem, kirs and fran and angie) to help me remember all the stuff we used to do. i even mentioned to them my affiliations with log, audience, and dwtl, and they already want to do a socal trip to get ideas and more inspiration! i really hope my socal peeps would be willing to help me out on this one.... ;) they also have had no exposure to praise music! (i know! what a tragedy!) i'm hoping to especially help out in this department.

in liwanag, we'd always tell our members that our mission was to spread light to those in darkness. how easily we sometimes forget about this mission when we graduate and move on in our lives. i know i forgot...and quickly. maybe i wasn't ready to do it all again a couple years ago. who knows if i'm ready now? i certainly am not sure...but what i am sure of is that i trust god. if this is what he wants from me, i'll do my best to oblige.

so right now i'd like to ask you all for prayers -- prayers for the group and prayers for myself, that we do what is right in the eyes of God, and that we take our inspiration from the Holy Spirit. i've gotten through many difficult and challenging times due largely in part to the prayers of those i love, and i hope this time is no different.

it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood

forbes.com rated san francisco #8 on its top 10 best cities to buy a home list. just thought all of you who have ever considered moving up here should know. remember the cul de sac, people!?! anyway, we need more friends up here, so think about it! :)

prayers are needed...

for friend that is very close to my heart. she's one of my oldest friends and she's going through some tough and uncertain times. please help me in praying for her. thank you.

fading fast

a couple days ago i realized that i only have ONE MORE MONTH of summer left. can you feel my heart breaking? i'm so not ready to do anything more than sit at home watching tv and surfing the web. pitiful, i know, but oh so true.

don't get me wrong, i do try and get a daily dose of exercise in and go to the gym. i've been really into taking classes -- mostly cardio, some dance and the ocassional pilates session. most of the instructors use certain types of music to get people all hyped up, and sometimes they'll throw in a hip-hop song that i really like. when this happens, i totally sing along (well, more like lip-sync) and in turn will miss a step or totally do the wrong thing because i'm really just listening to the song and not the instructor. people look at me like i don't have rhythm, but really, it's because i'm so into the song.

i've been working out pretty regularly now and haven't seen too much of a difference physically. i figured out (with the help of my bro) that it's because i still am not eating as healthy as possible. i stay away from fast food most of the time (except when david insists on getting it!) and i totally cut soda out of my diet. but aside from that i'm not counting calories or anything. i hate dieting! i wish you could just work out and not have to control your diet and still lost weight. grrr...

so there a a couple new things that are going to take place in my life in the next few weeks. if you're interested, read on:

1. i'm joining my bro, sis, and cousins in dancing for their halau. my bro and sis have been dancing hula/tahitian for a long time, and my cousin, pj, just joined. i've been wanting to join for a long time but was either too busy or lazy. i'm so excited!


2. i'm meeting up with my church's young adult group! many, many months ago they passed out a survey where parishoners were to write down what they think the church could improve on. i made the comment that i hadn't seen the young adults active in the church, and that while the youth group was strong, the young adults were nowhere to be found. someone from the church contacted me and is coordinating a meeting with some other young adults and myself. we'll see what comes about from all of this. i definitely feel God's hand working...i wonder what he has planned!
   
3. i'm going on a cruise! to mexico!


4. i'm moving in with david. (more regarding this to follow later...)
   

so there you have it. life around these parts is never boring. oh, on a side note, check this out for your viewing pleasure! my david has invested in a very, very expensive camera and has been working on his personal portfolio. he's getting better and better every day at taking shots, and i'm really proud of how he's progressed.

here are just a few random photos from my good ol' point and shoot cannon!

the newest addition to the dioneda clan...noah douglass! he was a day old in this pic, which was taken about a month ago. the number of guys in our family are increasing!

my cousins and i at the most recent cotillion

mi familia...with all the s.o.'s included. this was at billy and pj's bday celebration at horizons in the city. my friends told me to hold my arm away from my body so it won't look fat...then they laughed when they saw this pic. suuuper posed.

and the following pics were from a night in downtown fullerton. that weekend was one of the best weekends i've had all summer. i'd almost forgotten how much i missed being around all my old friends...it's always good times with these people!

starting off sloooow...

you know how much we looove to dance!

i love this pic. except i don't like how derrick's hair looks. oops, i mean...i looooooove derrick's bangs in this pic. they look hot.

goodbye, fullerton. until we meet again...

help, i'm trapped!

last night i stayed at david's place while he was working the night shift at the hospital. he came home this morning, and after checking his email and finding out that his camera package was shipped out to my house today, left so that he could be over there to answer the door. i was still sleeping, so i stayed behind...

only to be woken up by a louder than life, piercing fire alarm. i figured it was a test (david says they do that periodically in the morning time), but it didn't turn off right away and it was starting to hurt my head! so i tried to quickly gather my stuff to leave...but the door would not open. the lock was stuck -- this had happened once before so i knew what the problem was, but that time david was on the other side of the door and was able to get in.

i tried desperately for 20 min. to try and get it open, but to no avail. that was at 8:45am. i've been wandering aimlessly on the internet since then, while formulating a plan in my head to escape should there really be a fire. i wanted to call david right away to rescue me, but i decided to let him sleep for a bit before i make him get up.

on another note...

i looooooooooove. love. love. summer! :) (um, don't ALL teachers?!) i randomly see families from school at the grocery store/mall/gym and they all ask me, "so....what are you doing nowadays?" in a tone that suggests i must be bored out of my mind. i am the complete opposite of bored. i stay up really late at night, wake up early/late depending on the errands i have to run that day, hang out with the family, go out on the weekends, visit malls with david and window shop. i'm not really doing anything super productive, except for wedding planning, and i'm loving it.

this weekend we're going to sunny southern california yet again for the dayz picnic. i've missed dayz so much and was excited to find that i'm available this weekend to attend the function. it'll be nice to catch up with old friends again.

did you know...?

i was tagged by my good friend *reen* to give 6 random factoids about myself. here they are, in no particular order:

1. i harmonize to songs i hear on the radio. just typing that sentence made me laugh. whenever a song comes on that i like, i randomly try to harmonize with the melody. sometimes i can pick out the harmony if i listen real closely, but most other times i fail. miserably. in fact, i think this random habit of mine has made my singing worse. and, if my harmony is really bad, i can practically hear joyce laughing at me in side my head.

2. i hate doing laundry. so much so that when i run out of stuff to wear, i go shopping. yup, i'd rather spend money to buy new clothes than wash the ones i already have. i think my old roomies can attest to this. actually, it's not only laundry that i hate doing -- it's any kind of housework -- dishes, cleaning, cooking. man, i am so NOT the homemaker.

3. while living in irvine, i visited a dance studio 3 times with the intention of taking a class. i chickened out all 3 times. the first time i just drove by and didn't get out of my car. the second time i made it to the clear glass window that looks inside one of the rooms and became a spectator for an hour. the third time was the same as the second...pitiful. my old roommate melissa even offered to come with me after i told her the story. alas, i think the opportunity of my career as a dancer has long passed.

4. i (secretly) wish i could be the mother of multiples. twins, triplets...sextuplets, maybe? see, i've been really into watching jon & kate plus 8 on TLC. i practically watch it anytime it's on! everytime i watch the show, i get this overwhelming desire to have kids. i realize that it's a reality show and that they probably make it seem more fun than it really is, but i guess i just loooove the idea of a big family. i always have. now, all this is coming from a woman with no kids yet. we'll just have to see if the desire remains the same after i have a couple.

5. i am very much an introvert AND extrovert. i love to be social, meet new people, be in the spotlight, and hang out with friends. i like hanging out in big groups, as well as small ones. at the same time, i need my moments alone. there are days (weeks even!) where i am perfectly fine staying at home or not talking to anyone. that's why whenever anyone asks me to describe myself i never know what to say, because i am so much the walking contradiction.

6. i love playing board games with my family. we first got into playing cranium a few christmas' ago. i introduced it to my family after playing it in irvine. then we became addicted to taboo. david and i also had a period in time when we would play sequence multiple times a night. (i was introduced to sequence by the very person who tagged me to write this post!) catch phrase made its way into our family parties -- and we have had some pretty funny catch phrase sessions. this summer, the name of the game is monops! 4 hour monopoly sessions are not uncommon in our household!

YOU'RE IT!:
1. david
2. franchu
3. regina
4. emely
5. derrick
6. gian (again!)
7. angie
8. kirsten
9. kathee
10. wing

let's see who responds FIRST!!!

whirlwind

the past few weeks have been somewhat of a whirlwind for me, and i think i am just now beginning to let my feet come back to earth.

the first major thing that took place was graduation. i survived my first 8th grade graduation with minimal setbacks and almost no drama. did everything turn out well? absolutely. was it perfect? absolutely not, but i will work on nearing perfection in the years to come. did i accomplish everything i set out do do this school year? no, but my main goal was to simply survive, and that i did. they say that a class like the one i had this past year only comes along once in a blue moon. well, in all humbleness i would like to say that i paid my dues and i deserve a break for at least 5 years until my next challenging class walks through my door. ok, maybe 3 years...but still. at least i know next year's class coming up will be somewhat a breath of fresh air for me. i've already had them for one period this past year and know them pretty well. they're a lot calmer, more respectful, but albeit kind of nerdy. and, i mean that in the most endearing way. we'll see if they stay the same once the school year starts.

what other things have consumed my life these past few weeks? well, my cousin had a baby! we have a new baby boy in our family (pictures to come!) and everyone is excited. the cousins, david, and i have been into playing monops (our term for monopoly, of course) and rock band until 5 in the morning. i'm trying to get into the habit of working out and am thoroughly enjoying the workout classes at the gym. and, perhaps the most apparent thing taking up my time nowadays is the wedding. oh, this summer is turning out to AWESOME!

some things to look forward to in the next few weeks:

• visits from socal friends
• visits to socal friends
• birthday's galore
• girlfriend cruise to mexico
• getting ready for next school year
• ...and more wedding stuff

stay tuned for my next blog entry: random factoids about me! i was tagged by one of my dear friends....I MISS YOU, GIRL! chrystal said she saw you at the gary v concert...just singing away to his songs! i totally could picture you in my mind!!!

words

"Careless words stab like a sword, but wise words bring healing." Proverbs 12:18

Words are important: they can hurt or heal. Words can uplift us or discourage us, and reckless words, spoken in haste, cannot be erased. Today seek to encourage all who cross your path. Measure your words carefully. Speak wisely, not impulsively. Use words of kindness and praise, not words of anger or derision. Remember that you have the power to heal other or to injure them, to lift others up or to hold them back. When you lift them up, your wisdom will bring healing and comfort to a world that needs both.

-Criswell Freeman's Purpose for Everyday Living

* thanks, reg, for the words of inspiration. miss you...

* to my friend across the miles, it was nice talking to you today. keep your head up and be proud of the beautiful person you are.

an early start...

to summer '08!

what's on the (tentative) itinerary for this weekend? well, let's see!

• thursday evening - drive down to southern california. one white truck. 5 squished passengers. 2 flying into lax. ETA: 2am.


• friday - disneyland, baby. haven't seen you for about 3 years...oh, how i've missed thee!


• saturday - visit mesa court and tour the area. drive around irvine and get my cousin acquainted with the usual eateries and hang-out spots.


• saturday afternoon/evening - sprit rally!


• saturday evening - *secret*


• sunday - mass at the 'faith. drive back up to northern california. ETA: 8pm.

in case you didn't know, my cousin, stephanie, got accepted into UCI! :) she's planning on entering the school of engineering as a civil engineer. last weekend she flew down with my sis and took a day trip to uci during wayzgoose. she loved it and came home very excited. i'm hoping to gently push her into liwanag and get her in early -- you know, before all the others. hey, she's free to make her own decisions, but it may help to steer her in the right direction. :D i'd feel so much better about her being so far away if she was in the right hands.

anyway, the plan is for her sib's to come along with us. my sister and her bf will meet us there since they have travel benefits and can basically fly wherever they want. should be a fun road trip if everything works out.

anyone else going to rally?

oh, the joys (and tears) of television

as much as i hate to admit it, i love to watch tv when i have the time. i think at the end of a long day at work, it's my only stress reliever when i come home. besides the usual grey's anatomy (april 24th!!!) and desperate housewives, i have my regular dose of reality tv...the hills, the bachelor (this season sucks, though), american idol, and survivor: micronesia. which brings me to my next point...

goodbye, ozzy.

this guy is/was like the king of survivor. i think he was born in the jungle in another life. i sort of don't even want to watch anymore because he's gone. everyone else is so blah.

and wasn't the don't stop the music performance on idol the best or what? i loved it so much that i downloaded it on itunes. i know, what a loser-y move. i cannot wait for so you think you can dance! everytime i see dance numbers like that i get the urge to quit teaching and become a full-time dancer. haha! oh, pipe dreams...



oh, and what about the idols' rendition of shout to the lord?! it was a little weird at first but nice to see, really.

speaking of shouting to the lord, the pope is here! i've been following his journey somewhat on tv with my students. in order to be one with the festivities, i took out my vatican flag and waved it around as if i was watching him arrive at the airport. my students didn't even know what the flag was. =/ but it's ok -- i enlightened them.

wow. this post makes me sound like a tv fanatic.

Happy 28th Birthday,

David!

breakthrough

and here goes another teaching story...

student: if someone makes fun of me i'm just going to make fun of them back. i've tried everything to stop making fun of people and losing my temper. i tried hitting the wall, i've tried screaming into my pillow, i've tried ignoring the person, i've tried it all and nothing works.

teacher: have you tried prayer?

our principal gave my class a talk today about the bullying that has been going on among the students, especially this week since we've been back. i was totally fed up with what was going on, nothing was working, and things seemed to be getting worse. after the principal left the room, i shut the door to my classroom and opened the floor for students to make comments about the bullying -- no holds barred. i explained (demanded, rather) that all of us were going to lay it out on the table right then and there, addressing each other directly by name.

and, that they did. specific people were called out for being bullies, being pushovers, starting rumors, being mean, and everything else. the ones being bullied confessed their intimidation and fears of speaking up in class. the ones doing the bullying accused others of trying to be "perfect" and gave warnings that high school would be 10 times worse. we've all been bullied somehow. are we just supposed to take it? if we don't dish it out, someone else will just walk over us. why are some people such big babies about it? why don't you stop when you see it hurts me? why do you roll your eyes everytime i open my mouth in class? why did you start that rumor? why? soon thereafter, the tears started to flow from a couple people. then, the teacher aide in my classroom bravely told the class about her experience of actually being a bully in 8th grade. she shared a pretty deep story. by the end of it all, there was not a dry eye in my classroom, and i was biting my lip in order to hold my composure.

my kids continued to share stories like you wouldn't believe. everyone had a chance to speak, and they spoke from the heart. the comments that some of my students made allowed me to understand them so much better than i did before. i was literally shaking to my core the entire time -- that and praying that God would inspire me with words that would help my students deepen their faith and their relationship with others. we ended our conversation in prayer, and everyone went around and prayed for at least one other person in the class. most of my students issued their apologies to whom they have hurt.

when we broke off for recess, one of the yard duty people came to me and said, "what the heck did you do to those kids?" i looked at her, smiled, and asked, "why?" she the told me that all my students -- all 38 of them -- were playing in one big group, hugging each other and just hanging out. the boys weren't playing basketball, the girls weren't practicing their cheerleading, they were just hanging out as one.

i'm realistic enough to know that this euphoric sensation will probably wear off before we even get through our spelling test tomorrow morning. however, i think that more than a few of them are changed for good. and i think all of them now realize that they can change, that they have the power to stop the cycle, and that prayer really does work miracles.

i don't think their classroom behavior will get much better. they're still going to be talkative, they're still going to fool around and try to get away with anything they can. but their behavior towards each other had taken an upward turn. and i'll take that over anything else.

he brings me my favorite lunch...

buys me coffee in the early morning...

grades my papers when i have too many...

takes care of my family in so many ways...

and then some.

what more could one ask for?

(ok, you can stop gagging now!)

welcome back to reality

we arrived back from the philippines friday evening, and would you believe i'm still jetlagged? how long does it take to shake this thing?!

we all had a splendid time! while the country itself is an interesting place to be in, i always tell people that the reason i have so much fun in the philippines, year after year, is because of my family that resides there. we only get to bond once a year, and it's always such good quality time. because my pinsans are quite shy, it always takes them a day or so to get warmed up. they are absolutely terrified at speaking english, and i can't very well speak tagalog save for one word exclamations (i.e. galing! social! ay nako!), so most of our conversations are in broken english and one word tagalog translations. it's funny that although language sometimes creates a barrier, the actions that take place between us speak loud and clear.

i have a few stories about our biyahe, but for now i leave you with one that was quite amusing.

while waiting to see my uncle who is the mayor of sorsogon (those are my pinsans you see in the beginning of the video), david and i happend to engage in a short conversation with one of the secretaries in the office at the municipal building. this is how it went:

male secretary: so, are you guys, like, from the states?
d&d: yes.
male secretary: like, born and raised?
d&d: yes.
male secretary: so, you guys are like, american?
d&d: umm, yes.
male secretary: wow, that's great!
d&d: (smiling)
male secretary: well, i really hope that when you get back to the states, you will vote for ramielle malubay. we're all voting here for the next american idol to be a filipina! (huge smile on his face.)
d&d: oh, yes, of course! (trying to hold in our laughter...)

it was really funny. i don't mean to poke fun at him, because in actuality it was rather cute that he would take the time to ask us to vote for a fellow filipino. talk about filipino pride!

i miss them already...

there's something about jason...

i don't know what it is, but i really like this guy. i haven't been following american idol too closely this season, but there's just something about the way he sings that i really love. i wonder what the stylists do with his hair every week, though. i mean, how many ways are there to style dreads, really?

one week to go...

'til i get to visit the motherland!!! although i am very excited, i can't help keeping my excitement at bay until the day we leave. see, it's the end of the 3rd quarter at school, and you know what that means! report cards. ugh. i despise them. i dislike anything that has to do with grading. i just want to teach, you know?! forget about the grades, the percentages, the tests to administer and calculate...just let me enlighten their minds with the activities! oh, how i wish it was that easy. alas, it comes with the territory.

it's going to be quite the busy week for me. i'm going to try and pack my things this weekend so that i don't have to worry about them, but seeing as though i have an academic decathlon to attend to and playoff games to cheer on for my boys, not to mention it's david's weekend off, i'm not sure if packing will find its way into the schedule.

we're actually spending a lot more time in bicol this year -- 1.5 weeks instead of the usual 1 week. not sure if this is such a good idea as days in the province tend to move extreeeeemly slow. we're only spending a few days in manila before we depart back home, but i never really liked/enjoyed manila too much anyway. it's crowded and stuffy and the only thing to do is shop, which can get monotonous after just one floor of mega mall or mall of asia.

trying to see if we can watch mymp, hale, or kamikazee. doesn't look good so far, but i think we may be able to visit mymp at a cafe they're playing at a few days before we are scheduled to leave. too bad we can't see hale...it's david and my favorite band. on our many roadtrips from the bay to socal or the other way around, we would both sing to their songs, especially this one:



and this song was really popular the first time i went to the philippines and i absolutely love it! there's a punk version and an acoustic version -- a lot of other bands perform this song as a cover but i think kamikazee's the original. i never knew what they were saying until i saw it on tv while over there and they put the lyrics at the bottom of the screen. gotta love that karaoke.

just because...

just love these boys. these photos were taken by david on the boys' 6th birthday last november. i haven't seen them since christmas but i bet they've already grown since then.

this in an s.o.s.

i wasn't planning on posting wedding related stuff on this blog, but i need your help...

CALLING ALL FRIENDS AND FAMILY!

one of our favorite photographers (we have many!), apertura, is holding a contest for a free engagement shoot! we really want to book these guys for our wedding, but they are super expensive -- and for good reason. their work is amazing. so, we have a favor to ask of you. if you find yourself bored on a rainy day within the next couple weeks or so, could you please send them a story/short essay and photo of david and i as an entry to their "blogstalkers unite" contest (click the link for details!). they're going to pick the best story/couple and announce the winner on their blog. we thought that enlisting the help of a few of our blog readers would fit perfectly with the theme of their contest.

the photo above and below can be found on their blog. aren't they stunning? so, would you consider helping us out? david and i would be eternally grateful. thanks, friends!

to my faithful blog readers...

i would just like to apologize for my 2-post rampage/venting about the stuff i've been having to deal with lately. you just wouldn't believe the year i've been having. however, i really shouldn't complain. after all, i couldn't wish for any more support than i already have. your thoughts and prayers mean the world to me, and they are what truly gets me through these hurdles. thank you for being so understanding.

sadly, i "gave up" emotionally on my kids this week. i was short-tempered, negative, and not understanding. they sure did notice the change -- quite a few of my 39 tweens asked if i was giving up on the class. without giving them a verbal answer, i think they already knew. today after school i found 2 notes. one was in my mailbox, and it was a letter from my teacher aide.

you are the Lord's instrument. He needs you to be there fore these kids.

it had a prayer card in it with a "teacher's prayer" on the back. the second note i found sitting on my keyboard when i walked back up to my classroom after dismissal.

please keep being as patient and as caring as you are and our class will eventually come around.

i feel like i shouldn't have given up so quickly. the good thing is that after hitting rock bottom (at least, i hope that was rock bottom! any further and i'd be in you-know-where!) the only direction to go is up. it's not going to get easier, but i think i'm going to get stronger.

thanks for the messages, kj.

the last straw.

what a day.

one of my students lied to me -- straight to my face. later on in the day, i questioned him on a different matter, just because at this point my trust in him was gone. it turned out the second time around he actually was telling the truth. so what does he do? goes home and tells mommy and daddy that his teacher is picking on him. does he mention the fact that he lied to me beforehand? of course not. now, i'm getting nasty emails from the parents and threats about losing my job.

give me a fucking break.

if the Lord is testing me, i think i've had ENOUGH.

in the desert

one of my students emailed me a very sad email. after reading the message, i really had to take a couple moments to just breathe. i think it was my erratic behavior today as a teacher that caused this student to email me. then again, it can also be seen as one of those reminders God gives you every now and then.

tuesday is our day to go to morning mass during lent. everything seemed to go smoothly while there early. except for a few misbehaving students in the back row, most of my class was too sleepy to even expend energy to fool around. until communion, that is. i don't know about you, but i think it's pretty obvious that while lining up preparing to receive, one does not engage in full on conversations with the people around you. you would think that years and years of catholic education would teach you this -- but i guess they forgot about that this morning. i had to "shoosh" them in front of the entire congregation (which was only about 15 people, but still). i then had students that found something amusing after receiving the body of Christ. what could be so amusing at this point, i have no clue. my mother used to tell me that if i laughed during church or while praying the rosary, that meant that the devil was playing with me. if this is true, then the devil must have been having a field day today. to top it all off, i had students that all of a sudden stopped before going into the row, held up the traffic behind them and created what could only be described as a 15 car pile up next to the pews -- all while others were trying to genuinely pray after receiving Jesus. i simply had to stand and stare. i was livid.

the rest of the day followed suit. imagine standing in front of your class, trying to teach a lesson, when 2-3 pairs of students are trying to have their own conversation. i don't let them get away with this (or at least, i try not to), so i start to give them nonverbal/verbal warnings, and i end up having to stop 5 times in any given 10 minute interval. this is pretty much our everyday, but today just seemed worse. by the end of the day, it took all i had in me to not run out of my class. honestly, i consider myself a pretty strong teacher and a pretty strong person. today, they seemed to beat me.

so, my student emails me and lets me know that she's sad about how our class is not improving. she desires so much to do the kinds of fun activities i did with my classes last year. my students that transferred to my present school after our other one closed have told this set of students that i used to be different. i was nicer, i didn't yell, and i was more interesting. and i would bet that if you walked into my classroom nowadays, you would not recognize the b*tch that i have become. is it the fault of my students? some would say yes. but at the end of the day, don't i always have control over what i say, what i do, and the teacher that i am to even the "worst" of kids?

i've tried being the old miss h., giving my kids small freedoms and laughing with them about silly stories and stuff we read in books or see on tv. i think the old miss h. does shine sometimes. but i revert back to the monster i've become when my students talk back to me, or when i hear my students trying to get out of trouble by using me in front of other personnel and saying "but, miss h. lets us _______!!!" the other teachers say that they know the students are lying, but i can see the judgement in their eyes. i'd like to see them last not even a day in my shoes.

in short, i have spend 10% of my time this year doing what i love -- teaching, and the other 90% of the time disciplining. i know that this is not what teaching will be year after year. and i know that i will get better as i put a few more years under my belt. sometimes, though, when you've spent so much time in the desert, it's difficult to continue to hope for rain.

young love, blogs, and (disappointing) diy cards

a couple days ago i had the opportunity to spend some quality time with my younger cousin, chi-chi. i picked her up from school and we had a nice lunch together while chatting about what's been going on in her life lately. boy, is she growing up fast. so fast, that i, along with my cousins and my sibs, are having a hard time accepting it. she just turned 16 and is no longer a baby, but she's the youngest out of the cousins that are close and sometimes we forget that she needs her space to be able to grow up somewhat on her own. i look at her and her sister and wish so much to spare them from the pains of growing up, and i especially want to shield them from the love heartaches that i know they will (and have) eventually experience(d).

i remember what it was like to be 16 and in love. i also remember what it's like to think that your bf is the most important thing in the world, and the downfall that comes with having that person hurt you and all of a sudden disappear from your life. being one of the oldest in the family, it is hard to just sit back and watch the people you care about go through tough times. but, i know that at some point you just need to let go. i suppose this is somewhat what parents go through, except on an even deeper level.

yesterday we went to her bday dinner at buca di beppo in the city. all 27 of her friends came, and while walking through the city received stares from onlookers wondering about the big group of asian teens passing by. (it reminded me of my days at uci...) it was fun observing the lives of today's teens, and especially interesting watching them interact with the opposite sex. oh, the excitement of young love!

on a different note, david and my wedding blog is up and running! i wanted to have a separate blog where i could detail the different wedding-related experiences that will soon be taking over our lives in case some of my readers do not care to read about that sort of stuff. heck, even david doesn't care for most of it! he's the type to make decisions quickly and painlessly. i, on the other hand, choose to ponder upon blue or green, flowers or candles, indoor or outdoor until my head spins. (and not from the vertigo! :P) so, if you would like to ponder along with me in the upcoming year-and-a-half, read this.

i participated in a valentine's day card swap with the bloggers/readers from this site that i often frequent and they posted pics of the diy (do-it-yourself) cards we all sent in. each of us received the addresses of 3 other readers/bloggers to whom we would need to send our cards, and in turn would receive cards from as well. sadly, i was disappointed with the outcome of my own cards. i made them in about 45 min. because i waited till the last second (of course) to send them out. i'm even embarrassed because i knew i could have done a better job. well, that's what i get for being last minute.

okay already!

well, you convinced me. here i am taking some time out of my not-so-busy saturday afternoon to re-enter the blogging world. i do have to say that i've been wanting to blog so badly -- for the past month to be exact. there have been so many things happening in my life. finding the time to write them down is another story.

the holiday season was wonderful! we had the usual dioneda family gatherings, with an added member -- david. this was the first christmas he spent with us and away from his family, and it felt nice to have him there. my vertigo woes put a bit of a dent into the fun, but i got over it and for now, i'm all good.

work has been...interesting. let's see here -- one fight, two suspensions, week-long detentions, sudden headaches, upset parents, recommendations, transcripts and failing students. i think that just about sums it all up.

wedding planning is now fully underway. i was issued a gag order the month of my engagement from my soon-to-be husband so that we could enjoy our engagement before the craziness begins. already this year we've been to 2 bridal shows and numerous venues. i even had a quick consultation with my wedding consultant, francia. i'll be starting a wedding blog soon to record all our adventures during the process! after all, not everyone (including david... ;P) wants to read about wedding this wedding that all day long.

the fam is getting ready for our yearly trek to the philippines. so excited about this. david and his mom have decided to come with, and i am sure it is an experience we will all remember. i love the philippines so much and am truly blessed to be able to go again. luckily, my principal let me take a few days off from school! he was hesitant but recognizes how many hours i work on a daily basis and said that i deserved a break. i'm scared, though. the last time i called in sick the class got all their cell phones taken away and were threatened to have their sacramento trip cancelled.

so, those are just a few highlights of what's been up with me lately. and now, for some photos!







i have more pictures to post but they're on the other CD. stay tuned! :)